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COUNTRY FOLKS 



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THE fiAY LORD ODEX comedy in Four Acts. Four males ten 
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Country Folks 



A Comedy Drama in Three Acts 



By 
ANTHONY E. WILLS 

Author of '-^ Our Wives:;' "-J Regiment of Two^'' 
''^Liberty Corner s^' etc. 



BOSTON 

WALTER H. BAKER & CO. 

1911 



f 5 3^45 



Country Folks 

CHARACTERS 

JosiAH Dean, an old farmer. 
Martha Dean, his wife. 

NATHANIEL DEAN, | ^;,,,y ^^.y^^,;,. 

Polly Dean, ] 

LoRNA Lane, a seamstress. 
OziAS Schuyler, the postmaster. 
Prudence Schuyler, his daughter. 
Peter Patch, the chore boy. 
Horatio Finch, a country lawyer. 
Alvina Berry, a 7ieighbor. 
Jake Diemer, the village barber. 



SYNOPSIS 

Act I.— Home of Josiah Dean. Summer. 
Act n. — The same. One year later. 
Act hi. — The same. A month later. 

Time, 1898. Plays a full evening. 




Copyright, 191 i, by AV-alter H. Baker & Co. 



CCI.D 25126 



DRESSING AND CHARACTERISTICS 

JosiAH Dean. — A typical farmer, is a good-natured, smooth- 
shaven, gray, partly bald-headed old man, wearing boots, 
trousers tucked in same, white bosom shirt, no collar, cordu- 
roy vest with heavy watch-chain. Later wears jacket or old 
frock coat, linen duster, straw hat. Also gold rimmed eye- 
glasses. 

Martha Dean. — A typical farmer's wife, is a small, gray- 
haired woman, wearing calicoes, neat aprons, except when 
otherwise indicated during action. Wears rimmed glasses. 

Nathaniel Dean. — Is a well educated young man of twenty- 
four. Act I, wears blue serge suit, white collar, flowing tie and 
soft hat, later changing to Khaki uniform, with campaign hat, 
leggings and blanket. Act III, wears shabby dark suit and 
soft hat and is pale and rather unshaven. 

Polly Dean. — Aged fifteen ; is a vivacious country lassie, 
with hair in long braids down her back, wearing short skirted 
dresses, with apron, and sleeves to elbows ; also sunbonnet. 
Act I, on first entrance, bandanna handkerchief tied about her 
face, knot on top of head. 

LoRNA Lane. — Is a good looking young lady, neatly dressed 
throughout. 

OziAS Schuyler. — Is a hard-hearted old country character 
about sixty, with pallid face, sunken cheeks, shaggy eyebrows, 
and thin hair. Is miserly and dresses accordingly, affecting 
dark colors and carrying a cane. 

Prudence Schuyler. — His daughter, who has spent two 
years at a school in Boston, is an attractive looking girl of 
about twenty, wearing dresses and hats of the latest design, 
carrying parasol, etc. Different dresses each act. In fact, is 
particularly noticeable for her gay attire. 

Peter Patch. — Is a country chore boy type, about fifteen, 
with red crop wig, wearing a red undershirt and blue overalls 
and large straw hat. Also such other changes noted during 
action. 

Horatio Finch. — Is a country lawyer, having a distin- 
guished appearance when compared with others. Smooth- 
shaven, with long hair cO!iil)ed back from the brow ; wearing a 
flowing tie, frock coat, spats, and silk hat. 

3 



4 DRESSING AND CHARACTERISTICS 

Alvina Berry. — A widow, aged about forty-five, with side 
curls, wearing old-fashioned gowns, bonnets and shawl. Car- 
ries hand-bag and umbrella. 

Jake Diemer. — Is a fiery German, with bald head, imperial 
and mustache, wearing clothing of loud or checkered design 
and low crowned derby. Uses German dialect. 



Country Folks 



ACT I 

SCENE. — The home of Josiah Dean. Summer, i8g8, A 
plain interior setting. Door at back L. c. ; window R. c. 
A large wardrobe between door and window. Doors L. i , 
R. I and R. 3. A small desk against wall between these two 
doors, R. A table, r. C, with chairs. Hassock front of 
table. Sofa l. c. Hat-rack against wall at back, with 
Jos.'s straiv hat and ulster. Cupboard against wall l. 3, 
with plates, knives, etc. Mirror on zvall down L. Pic- 
tures, calendar, etc., on ivalls. Lace curtains over window. 
Rag carpet down. 

{At rise Lorn a Lane is discovered looking from window.) 
Enter Nathaniel Dean fro?n r. i. 

Nat. {observing her, stands in doorway an instant. Then 
quietly). Still angry, Lorna, eh ? 

Lor. {glancing at him, then turning to look from window 
again). No, not exactly angry. 

Nat. Sorry then? 

Lor. {coming do7vn q..). No, not that either. 

Nat. Well, let's call it disappointed, eh? {Over to her.) 

Lor. Perhaps that's the word for it. 

Nat. 1 told you before, Lorna, how I regretted being un- 
able to keep my appointment to take you to the dance. 

Lor. If only you hadn't told me to be ready and waiting 
when you returned at seven o'clock. 

Nat. How did I know, dear, that I'd be detained in Wil- 
lowdale ? 

Lor. {looking up). AVillowdale ? Why you said Milltown 
a while ago. 

Nat. {quickly). That's right, I did say Milltown, didn't I ? 



6 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Lor. And you really think they'll offer you a position in 
New York? 

Nat. Nothing certain, of course, but it looks very promis- 
ing. If things pan out as I figure 

Lor. {tioio reassured^. You'll take me with you, won't 
you ? 

Nat. You bet. Ought to be able to make my mark in a 
big city as well as the rest of the boys who left the village. 

Enter ]os. froj?i L., in shirt-sleeves, stocki7iged feet and carry- 
ing boots in hand. 

Jos. Oh, Nat — you'd better hitch up Jed. 

Nat. Going out, dad ? 

Jos. Yep— tu town — on business. Be back afore the boys 
march off. 

LoR. Oh, yes, this is the day the local volunteers start for 
the front. 

Jos. That's what. And it means a whole lot to some on 
*em. {Sadly.) Ain't likely to come back agin. 

LoR. Why, I heard Mr. Thurston say that the war was 
little more than a skirmish and would soon be over. 

Jos. Stay at homes alwus hev a lot tu say. But dodgin' 
bullets hain't no fun — nor the fever nuther, once it tackles you. 
{To Nat.) I'm glad, Nat, you changed your mind 'bout 
goin'. 

Nat. {referring to Lor.). It was Lorna made me do that. 

Jos. {sitting on sofa and with difficulty putting on boot). 
I s'pose it wuz. A gal kin get a man to do most everything. 
Wal, trot along now and hustle Jed out. 

Nat. All right, dad. {At door back, throtving Lor. kiss.') 

Jos. {hearing sound, quickly glancing back at ^^T^. Eli? 
What ? {Then quickly ttirning to Lor, in tifne to see her throiv 
kiss at Nat.) Oh, now I know. Wal, I do hope you two 
spooners will be very happy when you're hitched. 

LoR. Thank you, uncle. 

Jos. {putting on other boot). You've been a good gal, 
Lorna, sence you've been with us, and a great help tu Martha. 
I can't fergit it — nor wish yu luck enough. 

Enter Martha Dean, from l. 

Mar. {to Jos.). Well, Josiah, ef you ain't as stubborn as a 



COUNTRY FOLKS 7 

mule. I thought you'd made up your mind to postpone that 
trip until Saturday. 

Jos. Saturday may be too late. 

Mar. Shucks ! It's never too late fer anything. I can't 
see why you've got to spile all our pleasure. We wanted to 
drive tu town and see the soljers off. 

Jos. I'll be back afore they go. 

Mar. Oh, I know you, Josiah. Once you reach town, 
you'll hev to talk to everybody on Main Street. {To Lor.) 
Lorn a, throw a few sticks o* wood on the kitchen fire, like a 
good gal. I've got tu hev hot ovens for the bakin'. {Glances 
around .) Peter seems tu hev disappeared complete this 
mornin'. [-£":«:// Lor., l. 

Jos. Peter's a well-meanin' lad. 

Mar. And you're a soft-headed old fool. Ef I had the 
runnin' o' this farm, I'd make the hired help toe the mark ! 
No wonder they're runnin' amuck. No head or tail to the way 
things is managed on this place. 

Jos. I don't see as how we're runnin' back, Martha. Nat's 
had a good skulin'. 

Mar. And a pretty penny that college trainin' cost you. 

Jos. Wal, he'll pay it back twofold ez soon as he lands a 
good job. 

Mar. Afore v/hich, we'll all likely land in the porehouse. 
But we'll drop thet subject. What's the great need o' your 
goin' to town ? Must be somethin' important. 

Jos. Wal, I didn't want tu upset you — but now thet you 
insist — why it's the bank at Milltown. 

yipiK. {anxiously). The National Bank? What's happened ? 

Jos. {stamping feef). Thet's it. It hain't happened yit — 
but likely tu by sundown. It's on the verge o' goin' up in 
smoke. 

Mar. Good gracious ! You don't mean 

Jos. Bustin' ! Yep ! I got a hint o' it this mornin' from 
Sol Russell on his way tu draw his money out. That's why 
I'm so anxious to git tu town. 

Mar. To draw out ourn. That's right — that's right. I'rn 
a bigger fool than you are. Forgive me, Josiah — I didn't 
know — I didn't know. 

Jos. Ef we should lose that money, Martha — we'd cum 
mighty near goin' up the creek ourselves. It would be a pretty 
hard blow to weather jes' now, with crops ez bad ez they've 
been. 



8 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Mar. Hurry, Josiah, hurry. You ain't got a minute to 
lose. {EfUer Peter Patch, breathlessly y door at back. Mar. 
to Peter.) And where' ve you been — you lazy, good-fer- 
nothing 

Peter. 'Scuse me, Mrs. Dean, but I jes' couldn't help 
slippin' tu town to see the soljers. Gee, they're fine. 

Jos. {^putting on jacket which he took from rack'). Great 
excitement, I s'pose. 

Peter. Great? I should swarn ! Ain't been no sech go- 
ings on since the night Ham Dawson's red barn burned down. 

Mar. (Jiafids in air). Thet was a night ! 

Peter. They've ail got new uniforms ! Guns and every- 
thing ! The gals are jes' crazy about 'em. Gee, I wish I wuz 
goin'. 

Jos. Can't all go. Some o' us must remain here 

Peter. That's me ! {Pojnpously strikes pose.) To pro- 
tect der women and children ! 

Jos. No, to do the chores. 

Peter {crushed). Gosh, I'd rather fight the enemy. 

Jos. And get killed ? 

Peter {Jiis enthusiasm dampened). Well, 1 wouldn't like 
that part. Guess I'm glad, arter all, they wouldn't let me 
join. (Starts for L.) 

Jos. Better see whether Nat's got Jed hitched yet. 

Mar. And you'd better be gittin' washed fer your lesson. 

Peter. You mean readin' and wa-itin' ? 

Mar. Yes. Lorna will be ready fer you presently. 

Peter. Gee, I hate learnin' things. 

Mar. Wal, you can't expect tu be a know-nothing all your 
life. Hurry, now. 

Peter. Yes'm. {Starts to go. Then halts.) Oh, I fer- 
got. There's a political meetin' in town tu-night. 

Jos. Thet so? Lots o' goings on, hain't there? 

Peter {handing Jos. circular). They handed these out — 
thet's all I know. {Off i..) 

Jos. {adjusting glasses). Heigho ! Ef Horatio Finch ain't 
down to speak ! 

Mar. Horatio Finch ? Why, I ain't seen him sence the 
day he stood up fer us at our weddin'. 

Jos. {sighing). Twenty-four years ago. Pve run across 
him once sence then ; over tu the county fair. Invited him tu 
call on us any time he happened this way. AVouldn't be 
s' prised ef he dropped in on us. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 9 

Mar. Wal, I hope he does. I'd be glad tu see him. 

What's he electioneering fer? 

Jos. {looking at circular^. Runnin' fer office. Ef he lands 
it, wouldn't be s' prised tu see him settle down in these parts. 

Enter Peter, door at back. 

Peter. Jed's hitched, boss. 

Jos. {quickly). All right. Help me on with my things 
(Peter goes quickly to rack, bringtjig down lijien duster and 
straiv hat and hurriedly assists him on with same.) Thet's 
the ticket. {To Mar., patting her on shoulder.) Now, I 
won't be gone long — so don't do any worryin'. Good-bye, 
Martha — good-bye. \^Exits, door at back. 

Mar. Good-bye, good-bye. {Then quickly hurries up to 
door and shouts off.) Oh, Josiah, don't fergit to bring those 
needles. 

Jos. {off stage). I won't, Martha. 

Mar. And the bakin' powder, Josiah. 

Jos. {faintly off). All right, Martha. 

Mar. {after thinking, calling off). Oh, yes, and the — and 

the {Then turns.) Oh, never mind. {Closes door.) 

I do hope nuthin' liappens to him. He's gettin' older each 
day. {Then to Peter.) Now then, Peter, you'd better get 
out those books and things. 

Peter. Must we really learn tu-day? 

Mar. When you remain from school, you've got to study 
at home, and that settles it. I won't hev you and Polly fer- 
gittin' all the teacher learns you. Now, hurry. 

Peter {moving to door ^i..). Gee, I hate tu be smart. {Off.) 

Mar. {to R. I, calling aloud ). Polly — oh, Polly. 

Polly Dean {from withi?i). Yes, maw. 

Mar. Come down and take your skule lesson. 

Pol. {from within). All right. 

Enter Peter, door l., carrying a small blackboard on easel, 
with piece of chalk tied to a string, and two school-books. 

Peter {ivith grin). Skule's arrived. 

{Places blackboard c. , and sits on sofa with book in hand. ) 

Enter Pol., from l. 1, a bandanna handkerchief tied about 
her face. 

Mar. How's the toothache, dear? 



10 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Pol. (hand to face). Hurts like the old mischief. Sorry I 
couldn't go tu skule. 

Peter (^gleefully; aside). I'm glad I couldn't. 

Mar. You couldn't very well have gone all bundled up like 
that. 

(Pol. goes over to sofa, sitting beside Peter and takittg up 
book.) 

Enter \^or., from L. 

Lor. Have I kept you waiting? 

Peter. Yep. Skule' s on time ^his morning. 

(Pol. nudges Peter in side reprovingly.) 

Mai , (Jo Lor.). Give the children a general review, Lorna. 
I'll be fixin' the up-stairs rooms. (Off i\. i.) 

LoR. (taking position at blackboard). Good-morning, every- 
body. 

Peter. Good-morning, teacher. 

LoR. Geography or spelling — which would you rather do? 

Peter. I'd rather do nuthin'. {Buries head in book.) 

(Pol. again nudges Peter.) 

Lor. Oh, come now, Peter, I don't like that. 

Peter. Neither do I like g'graphy or spellin'. 

Lor. (to Pol.). Polly, which do you prefer? 

Pol. I'd rather have spellin'. 

Peter (piqued). Dang it. I'd rather have recess. 

LoR. Then spelling it is. (Turns to blackboard.) Now 
we'll take the alphabet. (Writes letter ''A" on board. To 
Poi,.) What letter is this, Polly? 

Pol. (rising and promptly ansivering). " A " ! 

LoR. Correct. (Then iv rites *' JB '' on board. To Peter.) 
Now, Peter, stand up. (Peter reluctantly rises.) What letter 
is this? (Points to *'^." Peter hesitates. Lor., after a 
pause.) Come, Peter, what letter is it? 

Peter (fumbling trousers). Teacher, I don't know. 

Lor. Oh, yes, you do. Think hard. 

Peter. I am thinking hard. 

LOR. (after pause). Well? 

Peter [ready to cry ; blurting out). Teacher, I fergit. 

LoR. Take it slowly, Peter. Don't get nervous. Now try 
hard. i^Ki'E.K pauses ; busi?iess.) What is it that stings ? 



COUNTRY FOLKS II 

Peter (^promptly). Teacher's switch ! 

Lor. No, do — there's something else that stings. 

Peter {eagerly). Now 1 know. A rattlesnake. 

Lor. No, no. {To Pol., whose hand is raised.) Polly, 
you tell us. 

Pol. Please, teacher — a bee ! 

Lor. a bee, of course — a bee ! 

Peter. Oh, gee, that's right — a bumblebee ! 

Lor. {to Peter). Now then, Peter, tell us what letter of 
the alphabet this is. {Points to '' ^. ") 

Peter {ivith broad grin). A bumblebee ! 

Lor. No, no — ^just plain **B." 

Peter. That's right— a plain bee ! 

Lor. {writing a '<C" on board; to Pol.). Now then, 
Polly,— what letter is this ? {Points to *' C") 

Pol. {promptly). ^' C," teacher. 

Lor. Correct, Polly. {To Peter.) And now, Peter, I'm 
going to give you a hard one to answer. 

Peter. Oh, gee, teacher, you're always giving me der 
hard ones. 

Lor. {writing an *' (9 " on board). What does this repre- 
sent, Peter? 

Peter {promptly'). Nuthin'. 

Lor. Oh, yes, it does. 

Peter. A doughnut, then. 

Lor. No, no, it represents a letter. Now tell me what 
letter. 

Peter. A circle ! 

Lor. {irritated). No, no, no ! 

Peter {waving hand). Teacher, I got it. A hoople ! 

Lor. {to Pol.). Tell him, Polly. 

Pol. It's an '^O." 

Peter {quickly). Oh what? 

Lor. " O " is the name of the letter. 

Peter {ivith broad grin). Gee, what a funny name. 

Lor. I'm afraid you haven't been very attentive to your 
studies. I'm going to try you again. {Makes a '< 7^" on 
board.) Now then, Peter, what letter is this ? 

Peter. I give it up. 

Lor. What, so soon ? Just think a bit. It will come to 
you. {Endeavors to assist him.) What do you drink at 
your evening meal? 

Peter {quickly). Water ! 



12 country folks 

Lor. No. 

Peter. Milk ! 

Lor. Think again. It's stronger than either. 

Peter. I've got it — whiskey ! 

Lor. Goodness, Peter, you know you don't drink intoxi- 
cants. (^To Pol.) Tell him, Polly. 

Pol. Tea, teacher. 

Lor. Of course. {To Peter.) The letter is "T," Peter, 
— ''T." 

Peter. I wuz jes' going to guess that, when you axed Polly. 
Try me agin, teacher. 

Lor. All right, Peter. {Maizes a " F" 07i board,) Now, 
then, Peter, tell me what this is. 

Peter {quickly). It's a hod ! 

Lor. a hod ? 

Peter. Sure — what they carry bricks in ! 

LoR. Goodness, Peter ! 

Pol. {quickly). It's a " Y "— a *' Y" ! 

Peter {turning on her). Sure it is. I knew it all the 
time. 

Enter Mar., hurriedly, from R. i. 

Mar. Sorry to disturb you, Lorna, but company's come. 

{Quickly to door at back, opening sa?ne.) 

Horatio Finch {standing in doorway, bundles and valise 
in hands). Pardon me, but does Josiah Dean live here? 
{Then espies Mar. ; drops bundles.) Martha ! Martha ! 

( Throws arfns about her.) 

Peter {on sofa, observing Hor.'s action^ throws his arms 
about Pol.). Oh, Polly, Polly ! 

(Lor. has removed blackboard, etc.) 

HOR. {finally to Mar.). It's over twenty years, Martha, 
since I've seen you ! And I'd known you- — you haven't changed 
a bit ! {Looks around.) Where's Josiah? 

Mar. Be back presently. Went to town on business. 

HOR. So sorry. {Refers to Lor.) Your daughter? 

Mar. No. {Presents Lor.) Allow me to present Miss 
Lorna Lane. 



COUNTRY FuLKS 



13 



HoR. Not the daughter of old Spencer Lane — he as used to 
run the bank at Abbeyville? 

Mar. The same. 

HoR. {shakifig Lor.'s Juziiii). Well, I'm right glad to know 
you, gal. Your dad was one o' my best friends. Must 'a* 
died all of fifteen years ago. 

LOR. Sixteen years in March. 

Mar. Lorna's made her home with ns ever since. We 
brought her up from a little tot, you migiii say, and really look 
upon her as one o' our own. 

HoR. (sighing). Your father would 'a' died a wealthy man 
ef the panic hadn't hit him so hard. We all lost money that 
year. (Refers to Peter. Pompously.') Ah, but this is 
Josiah's boy. I can tell it by his hair. Looks just like his 
father used to 

Mar. I should say not, Horatio ! That's Peter, our chore 
boy ! 

Hor. Bless my soul ! 

Mar. (drawing Pol. to her). This is our daughter, Polly. 
Nat, our oldest child, will be along soon. 

Hor. Just so — just so. I must apologize fer not visitin' 
since your marriage to Josiah, but I've been busy — oh, so busy 
all these years. 

Mar. You didn't stand still, thet's sartin. You've come 
right along the line, hain't ye, Horatio? Why, I kin remember 
when you were a poor skule teacher ! 

HoR. (touching her on arm ; haughtily). Not so very poor, 
my dear Martha. 

Mar. Land sakes, I don't mean as to learnin' — only as to 
riches. [To Pol. and Peter.) Gather up those things and 
take 'em to the spare room. (To Lor.) Lorna, see whether 
everything's in shape up-stairs. 

(Lor. goes of r. 3. Peter and Pol. pick up valise and 
bundles and exit off k. ^ with them.) 

HoR. I don't want you to go to a whole lot of trouble. 
Only when last I saw Josiah, he insisted on my coming up here 
the first time I struck these parts. 

Mar. Thet's right. 

HoR. And so, when I was called upon to deliver the polit- 
ical oration at Willowdale to-night, I sezs—sezs I — **here is 
the opportunity I've been waiting for." 



14 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Mar. Needn't stand on no ceremony 'round here. AVe'ra 
glad you've come. 

HoR. {looking around). You've got a nice place, I must 
say. Josiah's done pretty well, too, hasn't he? 

Mar. Done a darn sight better ef he'd 'a' followed my ad- 
vice. Too easy-going. Folks kin git most anything they want 
out'en him. Nat, our son, takes right arter his dad. Soft- 
heartedness kin be overdid too, you know. 

Lor. {on from r. 3). Everything is ready. 

Mar. Better go right up, Mr. Finch. 

HoR. {%uith broad smile). Horatio — my dear Martha — 
Horatio ! 

Mar. {bashfully). Oh, o' course — Horatio! Only I 
thought a'cause you're runnin' fer jedge 

HoR. {pompously). I hope ever to remain Horatio to my 
friends. {Off ^e.. t,, followed by I.OR.) 

Mar. {looking after him). Jes' as conceited ez ever. 
Josiah alwus thought him his best friend, but I ain't never had 
much use fer the critter. {Kfiock on door at back.) Who kin 
that be ? {Opens door at back.) Why, Alvina Berry ! I do 
declare ! 

Enter Alvina Berry, breathlessly. 

Al. Thought I'd gone tu Boston, eh? Well, I got a letter 
from the lawyers sayin' as how I didn't need tucome. {Looks 
around.) But who wuz your visitor ? 

Mar. Eh ? Oh, you mean ? 

Al. I saw him drive up in the 'bus and get off at your 
place. A stately-lookin' stranger in these parts. 

Mar. Why, you mean Jedge Finch. 

Al. Finch ! {Starts.) Finch ! You don't mean Horatio 
Finch ? 

Mar. Do you know him ? 

Al. Lordy ! Didn't he and I officiate at your weddin' ; 
wasn't he best man, and wasn't I ■ 

Mar. Land sakes ! O' course ! O' course ! 

Al. I jes' got a glimpse o' him. Doesn't he look grand ! 
Hasn't changed a bit from the handsome young man I was 
going to marry. 

Mar. Thet's right — you two were engaged, weren't you ? 

Al. Yep ; but it took him such a long time to set the wed- 
din' day, that I up and married Abner Berry. 

Mar. And didn't make no mistake arter all. 



COUNTRY FOLKS I5 

Al. {sadly). I don't know erbout that. 

Mar. Why, Abner left you a lot o' real estate, didn't 
he? 

Al. He left the earth — that's all. {Then brokenly,') But 
he was a good sort, and I'm sorry he's gone. 

Mar. {comforting her). Wal, we can't live forever. 

Al. You don't know how lonesome it is — bein' a widow ! 
How lonesome ! 

Mar. Wal, what's the matter with makin' the jedge stick 
to his promise 

Al. {looking up). O' twenty-four years ago ? 

Mar. He looks lonesome, too. {Suddenly sniffs air.) But 
here I'm chattering, and my bread is scorching ! 'Scuse me, 
Alvina ! 'Scuse me ! {Hurries off -l.) 

Al. {on sofa). Horatio here, arter all these years ! What 
if he should have come for me ! I've read of such things in 
story books ! ( With broad smile.) How romantic that 
would be ! 

E flier 'Low., from r. 3. 

Lor. Good-morning, Alvina. 

Al. Good-mornin', Lorna. What's come between you and 
Nat? 

Lor. Come between us ? Why, nothing. 

Al. I thought you two engaged. 

Lor. So we are. {Shows ring 071 finger.) See, here's the 
ring ! 

Al. Well, that does surprise me ! 'Cause I could have 
sworn I saw him over to the Schuylers' las' night visitin' thet 
Pruddy Schuyler gal. 

Lor. Oh, you must be mistaken, because Nat went to Mill- 
town yesterday. 

Al. No, dear, he didn't go to Milltown, 'cause I saw him 
at the l)ank at Willowdale at three o'clock, and again at the 
post-office at eight. 

Lor. {staggered). You're sure of that? 

Al. {surprised). What ails you, gal? Certain! 'Cause 
I spoke to him the first time, and the second time I saw him 
sitting at the window over the post-office a-talkin' to Pruddy 
Schuyler ! 

Lor. {zvith a sob, burying head on arms on table). Oh, 
Nat ! Nat ! How could you ! How could you ! 

Al. {up a?id over to her, comforting her). There, there, 



1 6 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Lorna, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. Mebbe Nat jes' 
paid them a sort o' social call. 

Lor. {through sobs). But he told me a falsehood. 

Al. 'Bout going to Milltown, eh? I see. 

Lor. He deliberately deceived me. The story about the 
position in New York — everything — was false ! Oh, my heart 
will break ! 

Al. Give him a chance, Lorna. P'rhaps he can explain. 
If he's nothing to hide he'll tell the truth. {Glances l.) 
Hush ! Some one's coming ! 

(Lor. dries her tears and goes up to window, looking off .^ 

Mar. {on from lu., wiping flour from hands). Come, Al- 
vina, I want yu tu see my new gingham dress. 

Al. {going r.). But I want tu get a glimpse o' Horatio. 

Mar. He'll keep. Besides it'll take him a half hour to prim 
up ! Some men are worse' n women ! ( Off l.) 

Al. {starting l., stops at door ; to Lor.). Don't fergit tu 
let me know when he comes down, will you, Lorna ? 

Lor. I won't. 

Al. Thet'sadear. {Off h.) 

Lor. {coming down). I can't believe Nat would deliberately 
tell me an untruth. I must have misunderstood him. I'll 
question him again and make sure. 

Enter VETEKfrom R. 3. 

Peter. I'm a-going to hev lots o' fun with that old jigger. 

{Starts toward door at back.) 

Lor. {quickly). Oh, Peter, — ^just a moment. 

Peter {halting at door). Yes'm. 

Lor. You were up last night when Nat returned, weren't 
you? 

Peter. Yes'm. 

Lor. What time v/as it ? 

Peter. Five minutes after half-past nine. 

Lor. He told you he'd been to Willowdale? 

Peter. Yes'm. {Then turns.) But how did you know? 
He told me not tu tell any one. 

Lor. {supportifig herself on back of chair). Told you to 
answer all questions by saying he'd been to INIilltown^ -v.asn't 
that it? 



COUNTRY FOLKS I 7 

Peter {fumbling cap). Yes'm — but gee! how did you 
know? You weren't listening? I'll bet I git the dickens ! 
He'll think sure 1 told you. 

Lor. (zvith difficulty). We must both keep silent and not 
let him know. 

Peter. That's my idea o' it, 'cause he'd be hoppin' mad, 
I know. 

Lor. Then you'd better hold your tongue good and tight. 

Peter. This way, eh ? 

(Sticks out tongue and takes hold of it with fingers of left 
hand.) 

Enter HoR., /« shirt-sleeves y from r. 3. 

HoR. (to Peter). Oh, boy ! Is there a barber in the 
village ? 

Peter. Yep ; but he's over tu Rowley's now, shavin' their 
old grandpop who's laid up with the rheumatiz in his arm. 
Jake, the barber, often calls here to shave the boss. 

Hor. Often calls here, you say ? 

Peter. Sure thing. Shall I tell him you want him, too? 

HoR. I wish you would. (^Rubs chin.) I must appear 
presentable at the meeting to-night. Tell him to hurry and I'll 
double his fee. 

Peter. Hurry? Gee, he'll fly when he hears that. 

(^Off door at back.) 

Hor. (Jo Lor.). I presume, Miss Lorna, you'll attend the 
meeting at the opera house ? 

LoR. I should like to, but don't see how I can possibly get 
away. 

Hor. You'll miss a beautiful flow of oratory. 

LoR. Oh, I know it'll be well worth hearing. I'm really 
sorry. {Off h.) 

HoR. And so am I. Sorry because I've got to make the 
confounded speech. What can I say to stir them ? {Rises on 
chair left of table.) Let me see! {Then strikes imposing 
attitude.) Ah, I have it! {Clears throat.) ''Fellow citi- 
zens, I stand before you not as a candidate merely seeking your 
suffrage, but as a benefactor of the nation at large ! ' ' (^Relaxes. ) 
That's a good starter. {Resumes pose.) ** If elected, I will 
always remember I am a servant of the people — not a sov- 
ereign I " {Relaxes.) Another good lie ! {Then resumes 



i8 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



aif^n'n.) "And the poorest amongst you will have as great 
right to the square deal and justice as the richest of the rich ! " 
(^Loudly.') ''Isn't this fair deaHng? Isn't this the kind of a 
ju(ige you want on the bench? Shouldn't I be elected?" 
(Nat. has entered quietly door at back ; stands watchijig him. 
HoR., zvi/dly.) " I ask you, one and all, to answer those ques- 
tions, * Yes' or ' No ' ? " 

Nat. {loudly). No! 

HoR. {confusedly turning). Oh, Lor' ! 

{Quickly down and confusedly off R. 3.) 

Nat. {laughingly coming down and looking after Hor.). 
Who can he be, I wonder? Perhaps one of dad's friends. 
{Suddenly.) By Jove, Horatio Finch, who's billed to speak in 
town to-night and of whom dad has so often spoken. Oh, I'm 
sorry. I'll have to apologize. {Enter Ozias Schuyler cau- 
tiously, door at back. Nat. tur?is a fid starts.) Ozias Schuyler ! 
Of all persons I least expected to see you ! 

Ozias {nervously glancing around). I didn't sleep a wink 
for fear the thing would get out. 

Nat. {gla?icit2g off r. i a7id r. 3, afid then coming down). 
I told you last night when I loaned you the money that you 
could count on my silence. 

Ozias. The thing must look very suspicious to you, I know. 
{Glances around.) The shortage in the post-office account was 
through a clerical error somewhere. I swear to you. 

Nat. Yes, yes. You told me all that, and I believed you 
or I shouldn't have drawn my hard-earned savings from the 
bank and loaned them to you. 

Ozias. If the postal examiners hadn't given me such short 
notice, I could have called in one of ray many mortgages and 
squared the thing. But when the notice came day before yes- 
terday, I knew of no one to whom I could go without arousing 
their suspicions, until my eyes lighted upon you. 

Nat. {nervously). Now let's hear no more of it. I've got 
into a bad enough muddle as it is. 

Ozias. I don't understand you. 

Nat. Oh, it's Lorna. She's got some idea or other. 
{Then turns to him.) The fact is, I'm a poor hand at telling 
falsehoods, and in trying to account for my absence yesterday 
without mentioning your name, I sort of put my foot in it. 
But it's all right now. 



COUNTRY FOLKS I9 

OziAS. I'm glad of that. And you give your word not to 
tell any one ? You promise this ? 

Nat. I feel sorry for you, and promise. 

OziAS. Thank God ! {^Offers paper.) 

Nat. What's this? 

OziAS. A receipt for the five hundred you loaned me. I 
had my daughter Pruddy write it out, and I signed it. 

Nat. Oh, I don't need a receipt from you, Ozias. {Tears 
it into bitSy throwing particles near table.) You helped dad out 
when he needed money for my college tuition, and I ought 
never to forget that. {Starts l.) And now you might at least 
say ♦' how de do " to mother. 

Ozias {crossing l.). But you will keep it a secret, won't 
you? People might think I stole the money. {Off h.) 

Nat. {following him). Don't worry — don't worry. 

Etiter Voh. frofn r. 3. 

Pol. Gee, my tooth aches. Wish I had some o' dad's 
horse liniment handy. {Espies torn bits of paper.) Wal, I 
like that ! If maw seen those papers scattered all over the floor, 
she'd be hoppin' mad. Bet it wuz Nat agin. {Picks them up.) 
Ever sence he went to college to learn style and sech, he seems 
tu hev forgotten all the manners he ever knew. (Glances at 
bits of paper.) Hello! A woman's handwriting ! NotLorna's, 
I know ! Thet's funny. {Laughs.) Mebbe it's a love letter. 
Guess I'll paste them on a sheet o' paper and see what it sezs. 
{At door R. I.) Gee, what fun ! 

Enter Prudence Schuyler, door at back. 

Pru. (haughtily). Good-morning, Polly. 

Pol. {imitating her haughty manner'). Oh, look who's 
here ! 

Pru. Where's Nat? 

Pol. Oh, so you've come tu see my brother, eh ? 

Pru. I don't remember having said anything about caUing 
to see you. 

Pol. Oh, mercy ! Wal, Nat, I reckon, ain't got much 
time to devote to your sassiety. 

Pru. Better let him be the judge of that. 

Pol. Is that so? Well, perhaps you're not aware he's 
engaged to Lorna Lane. So there now. Miss Smarty ! 



20 COUNTRY FOLKS 

(^Raising skirt with left hand, haughtily struts off '^. i.) 

Pru. (taken by surprise). Engaged to Lorna Lane ! That's 
news to me ! (Bitterly.) Well, he'll never marry her if I can 
prevent it. 

Efiter 'Low. y from r, 3. 

Lor. (going to her). Oh — how are you, Pruddy 

Pru. (ignoring Lor.'s proffered hand). I wish you'd call 

me by my right name. It's Prudence ! Not that horrid 

(Shrugs shoulder.) Oh, how common ! 

Lor. Why, you never used to mind it. 

Pru. That was several years ago. You forget I've been to 
Boston for two years. 

Lor. Yes, I heard you'd but recently returned. (Con- 
fusedly.) I hardly expected a visit from you. (Then quickly.) 
Won't you sit down ? 

Pru. No, I must tear myself away. (Starts toivard door 
at hack.) Call and take tea with me some Thursday afternoon. 

Lor. I'm awfully sorry you can't stay a while. 

Pru. Well, you know I really called to see Nat. 

Lor. (surprised). Nat? Have you seen him recently ? 

Pru. Why, yes, — only last evening. He called at our 
home and paid me a most pleasant visit. Why ? 

Lor. {breathing hard). Oh, nothing — nothing. I just 
wanted to know — that's all. 

Pru. Nat was one of my dearest friends before I went to 
Boston. True, he didn't write me while I was away; but 
since his visit of last evening I really do believe we understand 
each other and are going to be the good friends of yore. 

Lor. (swayi?ig and grasping back of chair right of table for 
support; hardly audible). Oh, Nat ! Nat ! 

Pru. (coining down). Why, what ails you, dear? 

Lor. (breathing hard). Nothing — nothing. (AtdoorR.i.) 
You'll excuse me, won't you ? I'm a little faint — a little faint ! 

Pru. (tvith a smile). Certainly. Only don't forget, dear. 
Call some Thursday afternoon and take tea. (Lor. staggers 
^ff ^- 3- Pru. looks off after her. Laughs lightly.) En- 
gaged to Nat, eh? Perhaps the marriage won't take place 
after all. 

Enter Nat., door l., unconcernedly. 

Nat. (coming face to face with Vwi].). Prudence! What 
brought you here? 



COUNTRY FOLKS 21 

Pru. I came to find out whether the rumor I'd heard was 
true. 

Nat. What rumor ? 

Pru. About your being engaged to Lorna Lane. 

Nat. It's true — yes — we are engaged. 

Pru. Qur eyes flashing). You never told me you were 
going to marry Lorna. 

Nat. (^quietly). No — I told her. She had the greatest in- 
terest in knowing. 

Pru. {changing tone). I don't see why a man of your edu- 
cation should want to throw himself away on a poor 

Nat. {firmly) . Stop ! Stop right there ! You have no 
right to say such things — you have no right to 

Pru. {wheeling around ; bitterly'). Well, you'll never 
marry Lorna Lane ! 

Nat. {calmly). Really, Pruddy, Pm surprised at you. 

Pru. {in same emphatic tones as before). You'll never 
marry her ! 

Nat. And pray, why not ? 

Pru. {bitterly). Because PU prevent you ! 

{Opefis door at back.) 

Nat. Since you feel that way about it — why, we'll see. 

Pru. You are right ! {About to go. Firmly.) We will 
see. \^ExitSy door at back. 

Nat. Jealous, by thunder ! And I never so much as even 
gave her a thought ! {Laughingly goes up to window and 
looks off \..) She's angry, clean through. {Enter Lor., door 
R. 3 ; observing Nat. , halts in doorway. Nat. turns and 
observes LOR.) Oh, Lorna, did you hear her? 

Lor. Hear who ? 

Nat. Why, Pruddy Schuyler. She was just here. 

LoR. {sadly). Yes. I had a talk with her. 

Nar. {surprised). No! {In front of table.) 

Lor. She told me a number of things that surprised me. 

Nat. {lightly). Shouldn't wonder. She's rather a clever 
girl in her way. 

LoR. {looking him in the eye), Nat, you haven't told me 
the truth about last night. 

Nat. {nervously). Lorna ! Why 

LoR. You weren't at Milltown ! 

Nat. {puzzled). Not at Milltown ? 



22 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Lor. {firmly). But at Willowdale I (Nat. bows head.) 
Your whole story wasn't true. You went to Willowdale to see 
Pruddy Schuyler ! 

Nat. {looking up). Now, Lorna, you know that isn't 

Lor. {worked up). She's told me everything ! 

Nat. Good heavens, Lorna, you don't believe what that 
woman says ? 

Lor. Alvina Berry corroborates her story. She saw you at 
the Schuylers' last evening. You told Peter all about it and 
bound him to secrecy. 

Nat. Well, I confess, Lorna, I did go to Willowdale. 

{Bows heady a?id leans against table.) 

Lor. {bitterly). And you cannot deny visiting the Schuy- 
lers ! 

Nat. No — I can't deny that either. 

LoR. {bitterly). Went to call on your old sweetheart — ^just 
returned from Boston. 

Nat. No, no, Lorna — not that. I went there because her 

father wanted me to^ {Then halts.) My promise ! My 

promise ! I mustn't forget ! 

LoR. {as he hesitates). Because — why ? 

Nat. {looking down). I can't tell you, Lorna — I can't tell 
you ! 

LoR. {giving a deep sigh). Very well, Nat. I won't ques- 
tion you longer ! {Removes ring from finger.) Here is your 
ring ! {Forces it in his hand. ) 

Nat. {quickly). Lorna ! what are you doing ? What do 
you mean ? 

LoR. I mean our engagement is broken ! {Starts r. i.) 

Nat. {wildly). No, no, Lorna; this mustn't be the end of 
our dream of happiness ! I made a foolish promise; that's the 
only reason why I can't explain my object in going to Willow- 
dale yesterday. Won't you believe me? 

Lor. I'm sorry, but after the stories you told, I really can- 
not. I'll go away. No doubt you'll soon forget me. 

Nat. You'll go away ? 

LoR. We can't continue like this ! Life would be unen- 
durable for both of us. 

Nat. And nothing will make you change your opinion ? 

LoR. Nothing ! Nothing ! It is the end ! All is over 
between us ! [^Exits r. 3. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



23 



Nat. {worked up). Very well, then ! That blasts my 
hopes — blights my future ! You never really could have cared 
for me, anyway ! {Suddenly.) 1 know what I'll do ! (Starts 
toward door at back.) Yes, yes — it's the only way to forget — 
the only way to be forgotten ! {Swifigs door open!) I'll do it ! 
I'll do it ! {Off hurriedly, door at back.) 

Lor. {on from r. 3, drying eyes). He's gone ! {Hurries 
to window and looks off after Nat.) On his way toward the 
village. Perhaps I was too hasty after all. 

Enter Voh.,from R. i. 

Pol. Oh, Lorna, here you are ! I've been looking for you. 
{Holds out bits of paper.) Look what I found. 

Lor. {curious). What are they ? 

Pol. a letter or somethin' Nat tore up. I've been tryin* 
to patch it tugether agin. 

Lor. {reprovingly taking them). Why, Polly, you ought 

not to {Then starts.) Pruddy's handwriting! Oh, 

yes, I've seen it a dozen times ! It's hers ! — hers ! A love 
letter, no doubt ! I was right from the first ! I was right 
from the first ! {To Pol.) Oh, I'm so glad you found this. 
Come, I'll help you put it together ! It can't be a wrong to 
learn the truth ! Come quickly, Polly, — come ! (OffvL. i.) 

Pol. Gee, some people go up in the air awful easy ! I 
wonder what's troublin' her. [Then goes.) Yes, Lorna, com- 
ing ! Coming! (OffR.i.) 

Enter Peter, door at back, followed by Jake Diemer, carrying 

a valise with barber^ s ute?isils. 

Peter {shouting gleefully). Here's the barber ! Here's 
the barber ! 

Jake. Blease, not so loud ! Not so loud ! 

Peter {surprised). Well, you're the barber, hain't you ? 

Jake. Of course — but you don't got tu shout it from der 
housetops. 

Peter. You ain't ashamed o' it, are you? 

Jake. Of course, in der same place again. 

Peter. Then what's the harm o' me shoutin', '' Here's the 
barber"? 

Jake. Ach, you make me tired in der head. Where iss it 
der man what wants to get shaved ? 



24 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Enter Hor., in shirt- sleeves, from R. 3. 

HOR. Ah, you're here at last, eh ? 

Peter {to Hor.). Jedge, this is the barber. {Points at 
Jake. Then to Jake.) Barber — {pointing to Hor.) this is 
the Jedge. {Quickly repeats and points from one to the other. ^ 
Jedge — barber ! Barber — Jedge ! Shake ! 

Jake {angered). Dot boy gets me all oxcitement. I don't 
know wedder I am standing on my head or my feet. 

Hor. The lad's all right. Only a little enthusiastic. 

Jake {opening valise). Yes — und someding else besides. 
Iss it you who wants a shave? 

Hor. Do you think you can give it to me ? 

Jake {sharpening large razor on stone). I kin give it to 
anybody. 

Peter {laughing). You bet you kin. 

Jake {angered). If dot boy stays here — I go oudt. 

Hor. Don't get excited. 

Jake. I don't got oxcited. I only lose my head — dot's all. 

Peter. I didn't mean no harm. I jes* want tu watch Jake, 
'cause some day I expect to be a barber too. 

Jake {to Hor.; wildly). You see? You see? I refusen 
to shave you ef he is watching. I don't want him to git on to 
der secrets of my trade. No, sir, I don't do it. {Commences 
to pack valise again.) Nodding like it. 

Hor. Confound it, I've got to have my shave. {To Peter, 
haiiding him coin.) Here, my boy ! You'd better run along 
since the gentleman requests it. 

Peter {with grin). Gentleman? He ain't no gentleman ; 
he's a 

Jake {brandishing razor). Say it — say it — und by golly I 
give you a souvenir of de occasion ! 

Peter {hurriedly openifig door at back). So long, Dutchy ! 

Jake {roaring). Dutchy! {Runs up to door.) I fix you 1 
(Peter exits, slamming door in his face. Jake staggers back.) 
Ach — my nose ! {llien comes down.) 1 neffer like dot boy. 

Hor. Has he ever injured you in any way? 

Jake. Injured me ? How would you like it, ef you vas 
courting a certain lady, und dot loafer hinders you at every 
chance mit his monkey-doodles? How would you like it? 

Hor. I wouldn't like it at all. 

Jake {placing chair right of table, c). Veil, dot's how iss 
it. Be seated, blease. (Hor. sits ; Jake raises Hor.'s/^'^/ 



COUNTRY FOLKS 2$ 

and places hassock underneath.) Now you are at ease, 
what? 

HoR. (zvatchifig him). I have felt easier. 

Jake {swishing razor through air). Are you afraid of being 
cut? 

HoR. {iiervously). I'm not speaking for publication just 
now. 

Jake {tying towel roughly about Hor.'s neck). My dear 
man, I don't cut mebbe one oudt of every two I shave. 

HoR. Great heavens ! 

Jake {looking at him). By golly, you are Jedge Finch, 
ain't it? 

HoR. I hope to be judge after the votes are counted. 

Jake. I heard a good deal about you. You are a self-made 
man, ain't it? Worked up from der bottom of der ladder. 

HoR. Yes, I started life as a barefoot boy. 

Jake. Veil, I wasn't born mit shoes on myself, 

HoR. You used to keep a barber's shop in Milltown some 
years ago. You've shaved me before. 

Jake. Iss dot so? Strange I don't remember your face. 

HoR. No, I suppose not. It's healed up now. 

(Peter, unseen by others y cautiously climbs through window 
and remains partly concealed by curtains.) 

Jake {carefully lathering '^ok.'^ face). Your face is nice 

und smooth, Jedge. 

HoR. Do you think so ? 

Jake. Ches — it's as smooth as sandpaper. 

HoR. Well, it hasn't anything on your touch. 

Jake. Will you want a hair cut after I'm through shaving? 

HoR. More likely a hospital. 

Jake. I cut hair any old way. 

HoR. I believe you. 

Jake. Now mit your locks, I could make a extra fine job. 

HoR. I'll take your word for it. Only hurry the shaving. 

Jake. I do it so quick, you won't know it. 

HoR. I suppose my neck' 11 be cut. Hurry, hurry. 

Jake (looking at lather on hands). By golly, I got tu wash 
der soap from my fingers. Where is it a pitcher of water? 

HoR. You'll find one in my room, off there. {JPoints r. ^.) 

Jake. All right. I hurry back. (C>/'r. 3.) 

HoR. {lying back on chair with head restifig on back). I'm 
sorry I ever permitted the fellow to go this far. (Peter has 



26 COUNTRY FOLKS 

cautiously come doivn and unseen by HoR., take7i up cup and 
brush, and is vigorously mixing lather. Hor. hears sounds.) 
You're back, eh? Didn't take you long. Now please hurry 
the shaving. (Peter smiles broadly, comes from behind, dabs 
brush in HoR.'s /<af^<?, then laughs heartily.) Help! Help! 
My eyes ! You're filling them full of soap ! (Peter continues 
to dab Hor., and then to stop his struggles, holds Hor. around 
neck and thoroughly applies lather. Finally takes up large 
razor and cojnmences to scrape lather from HoR.'s/<r^<f. Hon. 
protests.) Help ! Help ! Help ! 

Enter Mar. and Ki.., finally from L. 

Mar. {surprised). What has happened ? 

Peter (Jriu??iphant). Pve given the Jedge a shave I 

{Quickly moves behind table.) 

Hor. (sitting up, his face covered with lather, moving arms 
as if sivimnmig ; then finally espying Peter). You scoun- 
drel! You miserable fellow ! {Roars.) Pll — PU 

{Makes after Peter, who quickly jmnps through window 
and exits.) 

Mar. {apologetically). He meant no harm. 

Hor. {bitterly). He meant to cut my throat. 

Mar. Pm so sorry. Judge. 

Hor. You're not half as sorry as I am. 

Mar. He won't do it again. 

Hor. You can bet he won't. 

Mar. {presenting Al.). I want you to meet an old flame 1 

Hor. {absefit-jnindedly). Pm mad enough to tackle a lior- 
net's nest. 

Mar. {referring to Al.). Alvina Berry, whom you knew 
as Alvina Hoyle. 

Hor. {suj'prised). Alvina Hoyle! Do my eyes deceive 
me ? Of course they do — {rubbing eyes) they're full of soap ! 

Al. {coquettishly). No, Judge, Pm the Alvina of old ! 

Hor. {with outstretched arms). Come to my arms ! {E7n- 
braces her.) Alvina ! Alvina ! 

Enter ]kKEfrom r. 3, observing them, gives a cry. 

Jake. What's dis? Alvina! Und in der Jedge' s arms? 



COUNTRY FOLKS 27 

{Quickly down, swinging Hor. r.) What iss der meaning of 
dis? 

Al. It means, Jake, I've found an old friend. 

Jake. It looks like it. Und are going to give me der go-by, 
what? ( Ji? Hor.) I would hev you understood dot dis lady 
is my Jina7ice. 

HoR. (^starting). What? (^To Al.) You would marry 
that ? {Points at Jake.) 

Jake {looking himself over). What's der matter mit that? 
{Then firmly .) Yes — I am der proud victim. 

Al. I don't know about that. 

Jake {surprised). Veil, if you don't know — who does? 

HoR. That's enough, Alvina. I've something to live for. 
Where there's life — {rubbing lather from face and looki?ig at 
it) there's soap — hope, I mean — hope ! 

Jake {seizing Hor. by arm; brandishing razor). Come 
here — / shave you ! 

HOR. {drawing hand away and over to door R.). Excuse 
me ! I had a close enough shave before. {Off Yt.. 3.) 

Jake {looking after him). Veil, he loses my vote, anyway. 
{Angrily restores things to valise.) I wouldn't vote for dot 
man ef I got paid a hundred dollars! {Theft changes tone.) 
Yes — I would — but not fer a cent less. {Then turns to Al.) 
But I am surprised at you in his arms. 

Al. He's an old friend. 

Jake. So it seems. 

Mar. Alvina and the Judge stood up for my husband and 
me when we were married. 

Jake. Veil, he didn't got to put his arms around her. Vy 
didn't he explode himself in der first place? 

Al. {to Mar.). Good-bye, Martha. {Starts toward door 
at back.) I'm going home. 

Mar. Come again. 

Jake {quickly taking up valise). But hold on, Alvina; 
what's der rush ? 

Al. {haughtily). When you know how to act like a gentle- 
man, you can address me again, not before. 

\^Exits, door at back. 

Jake. Like a gentlemans ? Alvina, shust a minute ! Wait ! 
I promise anyding ! {At door at back. To audience.) Ach 
himmel, I bet now I lose her und her fortune besides. 

{Off sadly.) 



28 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Mar. {looking from windoiv). Alviiia has her own troubles 
with her many admirers. I'm afraid most of them are after 
the money that one day may be hers. {Looks off.^ Hello, 
Josiah's returned. How glum he looks. {Quickly opetis door 
at back.) What can have happened? {Enter Jos., sadly ^ 
door at back. Mar., anxiously.) Josiah, what is it? 

Jos. I was too late. {Comes down to sofa.) 

Mar. (alarmed). You don't mean? 

Jos. The bank's closed. Every penny lost. The savings 
of a lifetime gone ! [Sinks on sofa.) 

Mar. {brokenly). Poor, poor Josiah. But think how much 
better off we are than some of the others. 

Jos. {dis CO f ISO lately). Oh, I know, I know. If only I'd 
drawn the money yesterday. 

Mar. I'm as much to blame as you are. But never mind, 
we've both got our health and can start over again. Then 
there's Nat and Polly. We mustn't fergit we've still got the 
children. 

Jos. You're right. {Up.) They mustn't know. We've 
got to keep it from the young people. 

Enter Peter, excitedly, from l. i. 

Peter. Here comes one o' the soljers. {Hurries to win- 
dow.) I seen him from the up- stairs window. {Looks out.) 
Why, it's Nat ! 

for }(«/)• Nat? 

Enter Lor., door r. i, followed by Pol. Nat., same instant ^ 
enters door at back, wearing a Khaki uniform, leggings^ 
campaign hat and blanket rolled up over shoulders. 

All {starting). Nat ! 

Lor. {wringing hands). What have you done? 

Nat. Enlisted ! I'm going with the boys to the Philip- 
pines ! 

Jos. {staggered). Good heavens, lad, do you know what 
you're doing ? 

Mar. {wringing hands). My boy, my boy, it will break 
my heart. 

Nat. {nervously). Perhaps I didn't think; perhaps I 

{Then turns to Lor.) For the time being, Lorna, your words 
drove me almost insane ! 



COUNTRY FOLKS ig 

Lor. (^quickly). And 1 was wrong all the while. I know 
now why you wouldn't speak. It was because of a promise 
made to Ozias Schuyler; because of the money you loaned 
him ; because of this ! 

{Holds out piece of paper on which other particles have been 
pasted?) 

Nat. (surprised). Then you know all? 
Lor. (Jier arms about his neck). Nat, you shan't go ! I 
take back all I said ! You mustn't leave this way ! 

{Fife and drum heard off in the distance playing strains of 
" The Girl J Left Behind Me.") 

Nat. {releasing her hold). It's too late now. I've got to 
go. 

Jos. Think of me, Nat. {Refers to Mar.) Of your 
mother. 

Nat. If I turn back now, ever after I'll be known in the 
village as the one who was afraid to go. {Up to door at back,) 
I couldn't stand that. No, no ; I've got to go ! 

{Strains gradually grow louder.) 

Peter {looking from window). They're getting on the 
train ! 

Nat. {throwing door open). Good-bye, all — good-bye. 

p^^* \ {with outstretched arms). Nat! Nat! 

Mar } ^^•' ^^^P^^^^^^S^y)- My boy— my boy ! 

(Nat. looks from one to the other y then impulsively exitSy 
door at back.) 

Mar. {sinking on sofa, with a sob). He's gone ! Gone ! 
Gone! 

(Straifts of fife and drum continue off to) 
SLOW CURTAIN 



ACT II 

SCENE. — The same ; one year later. No change in setting, 
save that A77ierican fi^gs are draped over doors, picture 
frames, etc., afid room otherivise decorated. Table is laid 
for six. 

{At rise, Lor. is discovered standing on small ladder just 
finishi?ig draping of flag over ivindow. Pol. is laying 
plates on table.) 

Lor. It doesn't seem a year, Polly, does it, that the boys 
marched to the front ? 

Pol. I should say not. Seems more like yesterday. 

Lor. When Nat went away that day, I never really ex- 
pected to see him again. 

Pol. {over to sideboard for napkins which she brings down 
to table). Strange, though, he never wrote any letters. 

Lor. I can understand that. {Sighs.) He may not have 
forgiven my doubting him tliat way. 

Pol. But that doesn't account for his not writin' dad, maw, 
or me. 

Lor. {nervously). Don't, Polly — don't. You frighten me 
with your doubts. The Philippines are a great way off. Per- 
haps that's why 

Pol. All the other boys have written dozens of letters. 
{Brokenly.) Only Nat— Nat hasn't- 

{Buries head in arms and sobs.) 

Lor. {down from ladder, her aims about Pol.). There, 
there, Polly, don't cry. Everything will come out all right. 
He'll return with the rest, I know. 

Pol. (tviping eyes). I hope so, Lorna — I hope so. 

Enter Peter, door at back, with arms full of paper bundles. 

Peter [struggling with bundles). Here — give a lift! My 
arms are near busted ! Hurry! Hurry! {The bundles begin 
to slip and finally all fall to the floor. PoL. and Lor. quickly 
over to him.) Too late — too late ! The damage is done ! 
Now you kin help me pick 'em up. 

30 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



31 



Pol. Whatcher all got, Peter ? 

Peter {with broad smile). A bunch o' good things ! Fer 
the party, yu know. Gee, it's going tu be great ! 

{Piles bundles in Pol.'s arms.) 

Lor. (has picked up several bundles and handed them to 
Pol.). I don't think you need me any longer. 

Peter [with boiv). Nope ! You're excused ! 

Lor. {laughingly over to ladder). I've any number of 
things to do before Mr. Finch arrives. 

Peter. Oh, gee, is he comin' ? 

Lor. {folding ladder a?id moving it to r. 3). Why, of 
course, Peter, — why? 

Peter. Oh, I hate him— thet's all. 

Lor. That isn't nice, Peter, ((^/'r. 3.) 

Mar. {heard off l.). Oh, Peter! Peter! Where are 
you? 

Peter. Callin* me ! Here's where I git the dickens ! {To 
Pol.) Hurry, Polly — hurry! {Takes up remaining bundles^ 
and over to door l.) Don't tell your maw I dropped these — 
will yer — 'cause I think I broke thet box o' store eggs. {Then 
suddenly places finger to nose and holds package well in front 
of him.) Now, I'm sure I did. 

{Off h.f followed by Pol., 7vho is laughing heartily.) 

Enter Jos,, door at back. He takes off hat and coat, hangs 
on rack, and then takes out pipe and tobacco, comes down 
to sofa, fills same and about to light ity when enter Mar., 
from l. 

Mar. Got back, Josiah, I see. 

Jos. Yep. 

Mar. Is Alvina comin' ? 

Jos. You bet. And what d'ye think ? 

Mar. Josiah, what d'ye want me tu think? 

Jos. I engaged that picture feller tu cum up and take a 
picture o' the whole shebang. 

Mar. Land sakes ! 

Jos. It ain't every day we celebrate our twentv-fifrli vv-en- 
din' anniversary. And bein' as how Alvina and Horaiio are 
both tu be here, I thought to duplicate that picture we had 
taken on our weddin' morn. 

Mar. {wiping eye with end of apron, then going to cup- 



32 COUNTRY FOLKS 

board and bringing down an old album ; sitting beside ///>;;). 
We've changed some, Josiah, sence that day. 

Jos. (adjusting spectac/es and taking album on knee'). Wal, 
I should svvarn ! You were a putty gal, then. (Then quickly 
adds.) Not thet ye've changed any. 

Mar. (shaki/ig head sadly). You can't take it back, Josiah. 
I've grown older, like yourself. 

Jos. Wal, dang it, looks don't count, anyway. I ain't a 
bit older then I feel. 

Mar. (lookifig at album). Alvina was a putty gal. 

Jos. You wouldn't think it tu look at her now. ( Chuckles.) 
And Horatio was the same old stuck-up, conceited mule he is 
tu-day. But he couldn't help that, 1 reckon — born that way. 

Mar. (closing book). We've a double joy to-day, in the re- 
turn of Nat. 

Jos. Yep ! Our prayers hev been answered. He's come 
back again ! (Mar. has restored album to its proper place. 
Knock on door at back.) Heigho ! Who kin thet be? 

Mar. (openi?ig door). Good-arternoon, Jedge ! 

Enter Hor., pompously, door at back. 
HOR. Good-afternoon, everybody. Am I early? 
(Comes doivn.) 

Jos. Jes' in time. 

Hor. I only had two cases on the calendar to-day, and was 
able to get away sooner than I expected. 

Jos. How do you like bein' on the bench ? 

Hor. (conceitedly). My dear Josiah! I was born to 
adorn it. 

Jos. Yu had a putty close shave in landin' it, though. 

Hor. Thanks to your kindly offices, I managed to get in. 
You certainly swung a good many votes my way. But tell me 
(glancing around) Alvina ! Is she here? 

Mar. Not yet; but she won't be long now. (Over to 
door L.) You'll excuse me, won't you, Jedge? 

Hor. (with low, sweeping bow). Certainly. 

(Mar. off -l.) 

Jos. I've got a s'prise fer yu. Going tu hev a picture took 
o' the whole shootin' match. Same's we did twenty-five years 
ago. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 33 

HOR. No I 

Jos. Yes ! 

HoR. Who's the photographer around these parts? 

Jos. Why, thet barber feller from the village has jes' turned 
his shop into a picture gallery ! 

HoR. You mean Jacob Diemer ? 

Jos. Gosh darn it, I think thet's the feller's name. 

HoR. Good heavens, Josiah, do you realize he's my great- 
est rival for the hand of the fair Alvina? 

Jos. Eh? I didn't know it. But what's the difference ? 
When he sees you a-posin' alongside o* her, it ought to give 
him heart failure. 

HoR. {shaking head). I must say, I am not partial to the 
arrangement. (^Bitterly.) One doesn't like to have a rival 
camping on one's heels. {^Glances around.) By the way, 
Josiah, I've wanted to ask you a question for over a year. 

Jos. Land sakes ! Fer a year ? Must be a corker ! What 
is it? I'm all ears ! 

HOR. (^glancing around). Well, you know a man of my 
standing shouldn't really throw himself away on 

Jos. Never mind backin' and filHn' — hemmin' and hawin' 
— what's the question ? 

HoR. (fiervously). Well, then — have you any idea as to the 
financial status of my beloved 

Jos. In plain words, yu want to know what Alvina's worth. 

HoR. Oh, I wouldn't put it in quite those words. 

Jos. No, but you'd mean the same thing, anyway. Wal, 
I'll tell yu. Alvina ain't got nuthin' to speak of. 

HoR. (sinkifig on sofa). My word ! Then I've made a 

mistake! I've made a (Shakes Jos.'s hand.) I'm so 

glad you told me in time. I've got two other widows who are 
just dying to 

Jos. Hold on. Yu ain't let me finish. I said Alvina ain't 
got no money to speak of at present — and then was erbout to 
add, that in the future 

HOR. (anxiously). Yes, yes, what about the future? 

Jos. (looking at him). Gee whittikens, you're in an awful 
hurry. 

HoR. You see, it means so much to me ! 

Jos. It's this way. When Abner Berry died, he owned a 
lot o' mining stock that warn't considered wurth a darn. Al- 
vina held on tu it, and later when they begun to sink shafts, 
they found a lot o' ore -gold, silver or sumthin'. Anyways, 



34 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



Aiviiia's been offered a big sura fer her holdings, and ef a tor- 
nado or somethin' don't come along tu knock things helter- 
skelter, why she ought tu be a rich woman in a few weeks. 

HOR. (rubbifig hafids). About how rich, Josiah ? 

Jos. Four or five hundred thousand wurth. 

HOR. {sinking on sofa). Good gracious ! 

Jos. So you'd better give the other two widdies a wide path 
and stick tu Alvina. 

HoR. By Jove, Josiah, I will. From now on she can't 
lose me. 

Enter LoR.,/f^w r. 3, nervously. 

LoR. {to Jos.). Can I see you just a moment, dad? 

Jos. Sure thing. (7"*? Hor.) 'Xcuse us fer a few seconds. 

HoR. (with sweepifig bow). Certainly. 

Jos. {pointing to L.). See Martha. She kin tell yu all 
erbout Alvina. 

HoR. Thank you so much. {Pompously boivs and off i..) 

Jos. {to Lor.). Well, Lorna, what now? 

Lor. Ozias Schuyler is coming up the road, and I hap- 
pened to remember that to-day 

Jos. The notes I made him become due. 

Lor. I thought perhaps if he wouldn't give you time to 
pay ; if for any reason he wouldn't renew them ; that you might 
take up the matter of this receipt with him. 

{Holds out Nat.'s receipt to him.) 

Jos. {taking it). Oh, yes, that's so. The receipt he gave 
Nat for the five hundred ! I never thought of that all this 
while. Thank you, Lorna, I'll do it. But Ozias is our friend, 
and we need have no fears o' his pressin' us. {Knock on door.) 

Lor. That's him, now. 

Jos. {rising and moving Vi.). Open the door, Lorna. 

(Lor. opens door.) 
Enter Al., breathlessly ^ door at back. 

Jos!* [ i^^S^^^^f^' Alvina ! 

Al. I ran so I'm all out o' breath. 

Jos. What is it ? 

Al. I'd jes* started fer your place, when stumpin' behind 



COUNTRY FOLKS 35 

me I saw that awful Ozias Schuyler a-callin' out, *'Alvina, 
dear, Alvina." 

Jos. What o* it? 

Al. What o' it? Ain't yu heard? Sence he found out I 
was liable tu come into a fortune, he's set his cap fer me and 
writes me the most sugar-coated letters yu ever heard tell on. 

Jos. Yu didn't know what trubble was until yu had the 
promise o' that money, eh, Alvina? 

Al. The men folks never used tu give me a second look. 
Now they're breakin' their necks runnin' after me. (^Knock 
on door at back.) Thet's him now. {To Lor.) Let me go 
into one o' the other rooms. I don't want to meet him jes' 
now. 

LoR. {over to door l.). Come quick, — this way. 

Al. {quickly to door L.). Thank goodness. 

{Exits door l., followed by Lor., laughing. Knock re- 
peated.) 

Jos. {opening door). Oh, thet you, Ozias? Come right in. 

Ozias {glancing around). Thought 1 saw Alvina Berry 
a-headin' this way. AVhat's goin' on here to-day? Heard yu 
had a party o' some sort. 

Jos. Not 'zactly a party. Jes' a private gatherin' o' a few 
friends. 

Ozias. In which I'm not included, eh ? 

Jos. {nervously). Why, I didn't think you'd 

Ozias. No one ever thinks o' Ozias Schuyler unless they're 
in trouble and need money. My society ain't wanted no- 
where, it appears. But I'll hev you and the rest understand 
that me and my daughter are as good as any o' you. 

Jos. I for one hev never doubted that. 

Ozias {sneering). Oh, hain't yer? Well, we'll talk o' that 
later. I jes' came to remind you that the notes are due tu-day 
and must be paid. 

Jos. Why, you're not serious. You don't mean ? 

Ozias. I've got a lot o' bills tu pay and need all my out- 
standin' cash. 

Jos. I figured, Ozias, that ■ 

Ozias. You had no right tu figure my affairs. {Sharply.) 
Yu can't pay, can yu ? 

Jos. {on sofa, with bowed head). I'm sorry to say I can't. 

Ozias (rubbing hands together). Well, what are yu going 
tu do erbout it ? 



36 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Jos. That's a question fer you to decide. I am at your 
mercy. 

OziAS {chuckling). Thet's more like it. Thet's the way I 
like tu hear folks talk. Now here's a proposition. You kin 
'cept it or leave it, as yu prefer. {Clears throat.^ Your son 
Nat returns to-day, doesn't he? 

Jos. I am happy tu say he does. 

OziAS. Wal, I'll tear up the notes and consider 'em as 
paid, on one condition. 

Jos. {eagerly). And that? 

OziAS. On condition your son Nat marries my gal Pruddy. 

Jos. That's somethin' fer Nat tu decide. 

OziAS. Wal, he'd better decide it, or I'll sell yu out. There 
it is agin ! I s'pose yu think my gal ain't good enough fer 
your family ! Wal, Pruddy's set her mind on havin' him, and 
thet settles it. Either you arrange matters at once, or I'll 

Jos. («/). Jes' a moment — ^jes' a moment. You seem tu 
fergit about this. {Holds out receipt.) 

OziAS. What's thet ? 

Jos. The receipt you gave Nat fer the five hundred he 
loaned you. 

OziAS {starting). The receipt ! Why thet was destroyed I 
Nat tore it up hisself. He can't deny it ! I don't owe him 
the money ! I was a fool not to get that back at the time I 
paid him, but I thought I could trust the Dean family, and 
thet's where I made my mistake. 

Jos. You can trust us. Ef you say it was paid, I believe 
you. 

OziAS {holding out hand). Then give me that receipt. 

Jos. No— I'll let Nat do it. 

OziAS {e?traged), I thought so — I thought so. I'm sorry 
I loaned you the money on the notes. {Opens door at back.) 

Jos. And I'm sorry I had tu borrow from you. I know 
you now for what you are. 

OziAS {bitterly). Wal, I'm glad we understand each other. 
Remember my proposition. Think it over. Either Nat mar- 
ries Pruddy, or I sell you out. {Off angrily door at back.) 

Jos. {sinking on sofa with head bowed in hafids). And I 
thought him a friend ; I thought him a friend ! 

Enter Pol. , from l. , with covered dishes. 

Pol. Everything's ready, dad. {Places dishes on table.) 
Jos. {pulling hi?nsclf together). Thet's so. I mustn't fer- 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



37 



git the company. Funny that photographer hain't showed up. 
It'll be gittin' dark soon and too late tu take the picture. 

Enter Peter, fro7n l., now wearing a checkered suit, fancy 
shirt, collar and large red bow tie. 

Peter (Jo Jos.). Hey, boss, didn't you say I was to sit at 
the first table tu-night — same as Polly? 

Jos. Yes, providin' you know how to behave yerself. 

Peter {ivith drawl). Sure. Jes' tell me what tu do. 

Jos. Show yer best manners. Remember we've got com- 
pany. 

Peter. I know. ( With broad grin.) Not eat with my 
knife and fingers. 

Jos. Wal, I should say not. I tell you what. You all jes' 
watch the Jedge. 

Peter {all attention ; repeating). Pm tu watch the Jedge. 

Jos. And do what he does. 

Peter {t-epeating). Pm tu watch the Jedge and do what 
he does. All right. (7^^ Pol.) See, Miss Smarty? 

Jos. Now do be careful. 

Peter. Bet I will. {As if to self.) Do what the Jedge 
does. Oh, I kin remember that all right. 

Enter Mar., door L. 

Mar. {talking off). Now come right in, folks. 

Enter Hor., arm in arm with Al., l. 

Jos. {to Mar,). You'd better seat the company, Martha. 
Mar. {to HoR.). Jedge, you take the head o' the table. 

{Refers to chair left of table. Chairs are so placed that 
there is one chair at each end and two on either side of 
table.) 

HOR. {taking position behind chair indicated ; pompously). 
I am honored, Mrs. Dean — honored ! 
Mar. {to Al.). You sit here, Alvina. 

{^Refers to chair at back, nearest HOR.) 

Al. {taking position'). Thank you. 

Mar. {to Jos.). Dad, you sit there. {Points to chair on 
other side, nearest Hor.) Polly, there ! 



^8 COUNTRY FOLKS 

(^Refers to chair next to Jos. Pol. a?id Jos. take up posi- 
tions. When seated, they will have their backs to audi- 
ence.) 

Peter {anxiously). Where do I come in ? 

Mar. Oh, yes, that's so. {Refers to chair right end of 
table.) You take that chair, Peter. 

Peter {hurriedly seating and adjusting napkin). That 
suils me ! 

Mar. {reprovifigly). Peter ! Peter ! 

Peter {looking up and then observing others are standing). 
Oh, gee, 1 fergot. I'm to watch the Jedge. 

{Removes jiapkin and statids behind chair, closely watching 
HOR.'s every movement.) 

Mar. {taking position behind chair at back of table, next to 
Al.). Now, then, I guess we're ready. 

{All sit. Lor. enters from l. with large covered platter 
which she places on table, then exits L.) 

Jos. Wal, I guess we're all ready. 

Peter {eagerly, pounding knife and fork on table). You 
kin bet I am ! 

(HoR. takes folded napkin, adjusts it ; Peter, closely watch- 
ing hifn, duplicates his action.) 

HoR. Turned out a nice day, hasn't it? 
Peter {imitating him). Corkin' day, ain't it ? 
Jos. Yes, I reckon the storm's blown over. 
Mar. Now don't be backward. Help yerself. 

{Passes bread to Hor., 7vho takes a slice ; then passes it to 
others. Peter, when it is passed hi?n, spears several 
slices with fork.) 

Hor. Kindly pass the salt. (Al. passes large salt-cellar.) 
Thank you. (Takes it.) 

Peter {watching hifn). Will some one pass the so It this 
way? 

{Then, when it is passed him, vigorously salts his food.) 

Al. I hear they've postponed the county fair again. 
Mar. S'pose folks ain't got the money on account o' the 
poor crops. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 39 

IIoR. Kindly pass the celery. (Jos. passes it; Hor. 
seUcis some?) Thank you. 

Peter {eyeing hini). Hand me some o' that, too. 

{Helps himself io the remainder. Hor. raises cup to mouth ; 
Peter, watching him closely y does the same,) 

Hor. {resting cup on saucer and looking longingly at hi.., 
patting her lovingly on shoulder). You're not saying a great 
deal, Alvina, ray dear. , 

Peter {up and reaching in front of others, duplicating 
UoR.'s patting). My dear, you ain't opened your mouth ! 

Jos. {surprised). Peter ! Peter ! Such manners ! 

(Peter confusedly resumes seat.) 

Hor. {indignant). I never saw such a thing ! {Throws 
down knife and fork ; Peter does the same. Hor., watchifig 
him, angrily removes napkin; Peter, ditto. Hor., now real- 
izing that Peter is imitating Jmn, angrily throws napkin on 
table; Peter does the same.) Did I ever ! 

{Rises and walks L.) 

Peter. No, I never ! {Rises and walks r.) 
Hor. {aside). The fellow's mocking me. {Waves his 
right hand over head; Peter imitates him. Hor. now raises 
his left hand; waves it; Peter ditto. Hor. finally raises 
both his hafids above head and waves them ; Peter does the 
same. Hor., angrily.) I won't stand it any longer ! 

{Angrily over to table, pounds chair heavily on floor, then 
throws himself on same ; Peter does the same. Others 
have all been intently watching Hor.) 

Jos. {to Hor.). What's the trouble? Anything wrong? 

Hor. {angrily). Everything's wrong ! That knave (/i?/^/- 
ing at Peter) is endeavoring to make a fool out of me. 

Jos. {surprised). Peter! Why, what has he done? 

Hor. That's just it. Everything I've done ! 

Jos. {to Peter). Peter, I'm surprised at you ! 

Peter {with mouth well filled with bread). Didn't you say 
I was to watch the Jedge and do what he did? 

Jos. Oh, yes— yes! {Breaks into hearty laugh.) I for- 
got— I forgot ! {Laughs heartily.) 

Peter. Wal, I didn't. {Then suddenly begins to cough.) 



40 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Mar. (alarmed). The boy is choking. Quick ! Some 
one pat him on the back ! 
Jos. More trouble ! 

{^Immediately up, pats Peter vigorously.) 

Peter {finally relieved ; sighing i?i relief). Gee ! I 
thought I was a goner thet time. {Knock on door at back.) 
Jos. Hello, who kin thet be? 

(Mar. goes quickly to door, opening same.) 

Enter Jake, with large camera on tripod, and carrying plate- 
holder a?id black cloth. 

Jake. I'm sorry to be so late. 

Mar. Better late than never. 

Jos. Cum right in. 

Jake {coming down; observing Al.). Ach, my dear. I 

didn't know you vas {Then espies Hor. ; aside, angrily.) 

My hated rivals ! 

Jos. Kind o' late fer a furst-class picture, hain't it? 

Jake. Not ef I take him right away. Der sun is goot yet. 

HoR. {up). Well, then, we'd better not delay. 

Al. {rising). No. 

{All up except Peter, who, seated at table, is quickly sweep- 
ing contents of all plates aiid platters on his own plate, 
and secreting apples, bread and celery in various pockets. 
Jake begins to adjust camera r. c. ) 

Jos. {to Pol.). You and Peter had better run along now. 
Pol. All right, dad. {Quickly to door r. 3, calling to 
Peter.) Oh, Peter, Peter ! ( Off.) 

(Peter unheedingly fills mouth ivith bread.) 

Jos. {turning to him, loudly). Peter ! Did you hear what 
I said ? 

Peter. Yessir — but I was busy. 

{Then rises, and as Jos. turns to others, takes tip filled plate 
in one hand, and a loaf of bread in other, and stealthily 
^ff ^' 3> stumbling at tnoment of exit. Loud crash 
heard off.) 



COUNTRY FOLKS 4I 

Jos. {quickly up to door r. 3). Great Scott ! What can 
hev happened ? {Looks off, ^ 

Peter {from withiii). I only tripped, dad — it's all right. 

Jake. Now, how do you want dis picture ? In a bunch or 
all together singly ? 

Jos. {to Al.). I thought we'd duplicate that picture of a 
quarter of a century ago. 

Al. Yes, a group ! 

Jake (/// businesslike manner). Very well. {Rolls sofa 
a bit up stage l. c.) Now, then, Mr. and Mrs. Dean, if you 
please. (Jos. and Mar. take positions on sofa. To hi..) 
Und now, Alvina. {Poses Al. behind sofa. To HOR. Bit- 
terly.) Und you, sponge-face ! 

HoR. {indignant). Sponge-face ! 

Jake. Veil, whateffer your name iss. {Roughly shoves 
HoR. alongside of Al.) You stand dere. {Then turns to 
audience.) Oh, how I hate dot man ! Ef dot camera vas only 
a cannon, vat a goot chance to shoot him ! {Places camera 
R. C, then with cloth over head endeavors to focus same. Busi- 
ness. Finally withdraws head.) Do you want der faces tu 
show in der picture ? 

Jos. {starting). Faces tu show, o' course ! Why do you 
ask? 

Jake. Veil, because it's going to be pretty hard to get any- 
thing in besides der feet. {Over to Jos. and Mkr., posing 
them. To Jos.) Please look a little pleasant, shust as if you 
wasn't married. {Places ]os.'s, hand stiffly on knee and turns 
his head in an awkward position to the left.) Dat's better. 
{Then to Mar.) You look dot way! {Turns her head to 
the right.) So! (Mar. and Jos. are now looking at each 
other.) Now, then ! 

{Goes to Al., takes her hand in his and pats it gently.) 

HoR. {indignant). Hold on, there ! That isn't necessary I 

Jake. How do you know vat's necessary? Who's doing 
dis? 

HoR. You're patting the lady's hand. 

Jake. Who's der fotographer ? You or I? 

HoR. {indignant). I won't stand this. 

Jake. Den get oudt ! I don't care! {To Al.) You will 
take a handsome picture, I know. Too bad it will be spoiled 
by dot — sun spot. {Gives Hor. hard look. Then to Hor., 



42 COUNTRY FOLKS 

looking him over.') I don't really know how to pose you. You 
are quite impossible. 

HoR. {thoroughly angered). This is getting more than I 
can stand. 

Jake. Den sit it ! {Poses him in awkward manner. Then 
notices that Al. and Hor. are looking at each other.) Oh, dot 
won't do at all. {Turns Al.'s head so that she looks well 
away from Hor. Then turns Hor.'s head as far as possible 
in other direction.) That's more like it. {Goes to camera^ 
adjusts cloth and looks through camera, movifig it back and 
forth in ludicrous effort to focus same. Finally out.) Every- 
ding seems to be upsides down. You are all standing on your 
heads, ain't it? {Lnpulsively.) I got it! {Down to foot- 
lights L.) Everybody look dis way ! {All look in his direc- 
tion.) So. Dot's better. {Returns to camera and adjusts 
cloth.) Now hold it for a minute ! 

(Peter appears at window with putty-blower ^ and blows 
putty at Hor. ; then quickly disappears.) 

Hor. {starting). Ouch! {Jumps up and down in pain.) 

Jake {looking through camera) . Hold it ! Keep quiet ! 
{Then angrily removes cloth.) What iss der matter mit you? 
You are jumping like a jack on a stick ! 

Hor. {rubbing face). Some one hit me with a putty ball. 

Jake. Und 1 hit you mit someding else, ef you don't keep 
still. Now, once again. {Under cloth, looks through camera.) 
Steady ! Steady ! (Peter appears at ivi?idow and again 
blows putty ; then disappears. Hor. repeats previous busi- 
ness. Jake angrily throws down cloth.) Did I ever see such 
a fool? How can I take der picture ven you jump up and down 
like a bucking bronchos ? Now try to keep quiet ! {Stands 
alongside of camera with bulb in hafid.) Only a minute longer ! 
Hold it, hold it, hold it ! {Dances up and down. Al., 
watching him, gradually smiles, thefi finally breaks into laugh. 
Jake throws bulb down.) Stop laughing ! Stop laughing ! 
Do you hear? {Paces up and down.) Stop it! Stop it! 
Stop it ! {Looks himself over. To Al.) What in der world 
are you laughing at, anyways ? 

Al. {looking at Jake). Nothing. 

Jake. Und yet you looked straight at me. Am I nod- 
dings? {Returns to camera.) Now, once more! Every- 
body! {Takes up bulb.) Hold quiet, blease ! Dot's it! 
{Counts slowly.) One, two (Peter appears at ivin- 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



41 



dow, pointing putty bloiuer at Jake. Jake, slozvly.') Uiul 

three (^Gives a cry and drops buib, as Peter blows a/id 

disappears.) Help! Help! I'm shot! I'm shot ! {^Jinnps 
up and down.) Der Jedge shot me oudt of vengeance ! 

All {crowding about him). It's too bad ! Too bad I I'm 
sorry ! 

Jake {finally, exposing eye to Jos.). Tell me, is my eye 
still in ? 

Jos. {looking). Hain't injured. 

Jake. I thought fer a minute my head vas blew off. 
( Waves them to places. ) Once again to your places. I take 
dis picture ef I get assassinated. {All resume positions. 
Sounds of fife and drum playing '■'■ The Girl I Left Behind 
Me " heard off. Jake takes up bulb. Counts slowly.) One, 
two 

Mar. {suddenly). Listen ! 

Jos. {loudly, starting up). It's the boys ! 

Al. {rising, clapping hands). The volunteers returned. 

Jake {wildly). Steady ! Steady ! 

Jos. I {paying no attention to Jake, quickly up and over to 

Mar. j window). Yes, yes — the boys from the front I 

Mar. Our boy ! Our Nat ! 

Jos. {quickly taking duster a?id hat from rack ; to Mar.). 
Quick, Martha ! Help me on with my things ! I'll hev to be 
on hand to greet them ! 

(Mar. eagerly assists hi?n on with duster and hat. Peter 
and Pol. on from r. 3, ivith paper hats and carrying 
brooms for guns and humming tune, march across stage 
to l. a fid then return to r.) 

Al. {jumping up and down). I'm so glad I Pm so 
happy ! 

Jake {with cloth over head is S7vinging camera around 
room, endeavoring to focus same; imploringly). Shust a 
minute more und Pm through ! Shust a minute I 

Jos. {to Mar.). Hurry, maw ! Hurry ! 

{Finally opens door at back and presents OziAS in the door- 
way.) 

All. Ozias Schuyler ! 

OziAS {entering ; quietly). Yes, Ozias Schuyler I (71? Jos.) 
And I want a word with you ! 



44 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Jos. (jjuickly). I'm sorry, Ozias, but I haven't time now. 
I'm on my way to see Nat ; I'm on my way to fetch him home ! 

Ozias. I'm sorry fer you, Josiah, but I'm feared you're 
doomed to a disappointment. 

Jos. {taken aback). You startle me, Ozias. 

Mar. You frighten us ! 

Jos. You don't mean 

Ozias. Nat didn't return with the rest ! 

Ozias. He's dead ! 
All. Dead ? 

(Peter and Pol. quietly remove paper hats.) 

Ozias. Died in the Phihppines some months ago. I heard 
it in town and came right over. 

Mar. {giving a convulsive sob and burying head on Jos.'s 
shoulder'). My boy — my poor, poor boy ! 

Jos. (brokenly). That's why we received no letters ! That's 
why we never heard a word frum him ! {Comforts Mar.) 
There, there, Martha, I s'pose it had to be. We've got tu 
bear up. {Gently leads her in fro7it of sofa.) We've got tu 
bear up ! 

(PoL. is sobbing on Peter's shoulder ; Jake has moved ex- 
treme R. and stands with bowed head.) 

Ozias {taking c). Nat's taking away hits me mighty hard, 
too — 'cause I liked the boy and figured on havin' him as a son- 
in-law. How-some-ever, thet's all blotted out now. {To 
Jos.) You couldn't agree tu my offer ef you'd a mind to. 
The question is, Josiah, how are you going tu pay them notes ? 

Jos. {turning). You ain't got the heart, I hope, tu speak 
o' thet at sech a time as this ? 

Ozias. And why not? One time's ez good ez another. 
You owe the money ! Yu can't deny thet ! 

Jos. {wearily), I don't deny anything. 

Ozias. Wal, then, I've a right tu be paid back. The 
debt's past due. 

Al. The idea o' talkin' bizness here and now ! Ozias 
Schuyler, yu ought tu be ashamed o' yerself. Ef I had 
enough money, I'd throw it in your face. 

Ozias. Talk's cheap, Alvina. And I didn't address any 
remarks tu you. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 45 

Al. (Jier arms folded'). And you'd better not. 

OziAS {to Jos.). Since yer ain't got money enough tu pay 
me, you'd better give me a deed o* your property. The Jedge 
there {referritig to Hor.) kin draw up the papers ef yu but 
say the word. 

Jos. {brokenly). A deed? Of the farm here? Why that 
would leave us without a roof over our heads. 

OziAS. I didn't make no conditions when I loaned yu the 
money, did I ? 

Jos. No — but you're makin' them doubly hard at this time. 

OziAS. Well, the matter's got tu be settled here and now. 

Jos. {ftrmly). I can't talk business at this time. You'll 
have to give me a few days' time. 

OziAS { firmly), I'll have tu do nothin* o' the sort. It's 
got tu be settled at once. What is it to be — a deed or 

Jos. {emphatically). Nothing ! Do you hear, nothing 1 
And I demand that you leave this house at once ! 

OziAS. Oh, you do — do you? {Chuckles.) That's a good 
one. Leave the house, eh ? And if I refuse ? 

Peter {stepping forward). Gosh dang it, I'll throw you 
out ! 

OziAS {brandishing cane). You will ? 

Peter {throwing off jacket and rolling up sleeves). Yes, I 
will! 

Jos, ) {pleadingly). Peter ! Peter ! don't do anything 

Mar. j" rash ! 

OziAS {with sarcasm). Oh, I'm not tu be intimidated — 
nor frightened. The law's on my side, and I demand my 
rights. {Brandishes cane.) Come on, what is your answer? 

Peter {suddenly seizing Ozias, rushing him to window and 
pushing him over sill). There's the answer, and I hope 
you're satisfied. 

Ozias {kicking legs in air and shouting). Help ! Help ! 
Help! 

(Peter has hold of Ozias's legs ; Al. and Hor., l., are 
laughing loudly. Ozias suddenly disappears from win- 
dow. Loud crash heard. Peter, at same instant y from 
behind window, draws forth Ozias's trousers and holding 
them up by legs, dangles them triumphantly, loudly laugh- 
ing the while.) 

QUICK CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE. — The same i a vionth later. No change in settings 
save that table has been cleared and furniture arranged as 
in Act I. 

Peter (entering excitedly, door at back, with handbill). 
Polly— oh, Polly ! 

Efiter Vo'L.jfrofn L. 

Pol. What's the excitement, Peter? 

Peter {holding up handbill^. Look at this ! 

Pol. Hain't 1 lookin' at it ? What's it all erbout? 

Yky^^ {pocketing handbill). Wal, I'll tell yer. You know 
about the medicine show bein' in town ? 

Pol. Yep. 

Peter. And you know that they've got a real live strong 
man wrestler with the troupe. 

Pol. No — I didn't know that. 

Peter. Then you know it now. Wal, Ham Beesom told 
me they're offerin' fifty dollars to any one as their strong man 
can't throw in ten minutes. 

Pol. Throw where? 

Peter. On his back, o' course — stupid ! 

Pol. What does he want tu throw people for ? 

Peter. I don't know. Jes' because — that's all. 

Pol. How silly ! 

Peter. Wal, it wouldn't be ef I happened to win that 
fifty. 

Pol. Goodness, you're not going to try? 

Peter. Ain't I ? Wal, jes' watch your Uncle Dudley. 
You see, I've been a-thinkin' how your dad helped me out all 
these years sence my folks died 

Pol, {ahnost ready to cry, fumbling aprofi). He has been 
good to yu, Peter, hain't he? 

Peter. You bet. I'd 'a' starved sure as summer ef he 

hadn't tuk me in and — and — I can't fergit it, Polly (Pol. 

boivs head in arm and convulsively sobs. Peter watches her, 
and ahnosi crying himself, dra^vs a wet bandanna handker- 
chief from pocket.') I can't fergit it — boo hoo — boo hoo ! 

46 



COUNTRY FOLKS 



47 



(^Givss a C07ivulsive sob, places handkerchief to eyes, after 
which wrings water out on stage. ^ 

Pol. {comforting hint). Don't take it so to heart, Peter. 

Peter. I ain't ! I'm a-takin* it on this red handkerchief. 

Pol. And if you win the fifty? 

Peter (through sobbing ; enthusiastically'). If I stay on 
the mat ten minutes with that Turkish wrestler and win the 
fifty dollars, I'm a-going to give it to your dad tu help him pay 
old Ozias Schuyler. 

Pol. Good boy, Peter ! I hope you win ! 

Peter. There ain't no doubt o' it. Ain't I downed all 
the boys fer miles around ? [Strikes pose.) Feel o* my mus- 
cles ! (Strikes another pose. ) Then look at that shape ! 

Pol. I hope you win, Peter ; I hope you win. 

Peter. That's the girl, Polly ! (Up to door at back.) 
So long ! (Off door at back.) 

Pol. {calli?ig after him). Good-bye — good-bye, and good 
luck ! 

Hor. (heard off, angrily). Look out where you're going, 

Peter (off). Aw, look out vj\\qyq you^re comin' from. 

Pol. The Jedge ! The Jedge ! 

Hor. {appearing in doorway at back, looking off). Im- 
pudent puppy ! (Then efiters.) I wouldn't tolerate that raga- 
muffin about the premises if I owned this place. 

Pol. How do, Jedge ? 

HoR. (observing her for the first ti?ne). Oh, how are you, 
Polly? Your folks at home ? 

Pol. Yes; I'll call them. (Over to l.) We ain't seen 
much o* you lately, Jedge. 

Hor. (nervously). No, I've been very busy. 

Pol. Visitin' the Schuylers, eh? 

HoR. That's my business. 

Voh. (laughingly). All right. (Off i..) 

HoR. Another impudent brat. I hope they don't expect 
me to give up all my prospects because of maudlin sentiment. 
What's friendship, anyway? Why, only what you kin get out 
of people. 

Enter Jos., slowly, door L. 

Jos. How are you, Jedge ? 

HoR. Very well, thank you. 

Jos. You ain't paid us a call in a month now. 



48 COUNTRY FOLKS 

HoR. (curtly). Been busy — busy ! 

Jos. {referring to sofa). Won't you be seated? 

HoR. Haven't time. The fact is, Josiah — tu come tu the 
point quickly — I've come on business. 

Jos. {^puzzled). Business? What business ? 

HoR. Well, if you must know — {taking legal document from 
pocket) as the attorney for Ozias Schuyler, to serve this paper 
on you. {Hands him paper.) 

Jos. {dufnbfounded). Why, what is it ? 

HoR. A summons and complaint. Ozias has started a suit 
on those notes. 

Jos. {sinki?ig on sofa). It's come at last — at last ! 

HoR. Of course, I'm sorry to have been retained as plain- 
tiff's counsel, but I can't afford to turn any business away. 

Jos. {quietly). Oh, I ain't blamin' you. I owe the money, 
and ought to have paid it. {Rises.) By the by, how are you 
and Alvina getting on ? 

HoR. Bah ! Not at all ! The story of her promised for- 
tune is a myth. I don't believe she'll ever realize a dollar out 
of it. I'm engaged, you know, to Lucy Beech. 

Jos. The rich widow, eh ? 

HoR. Well, she isn't exactly wealthy — but worth, I should 
judge, around thirty thousand. 

Jos. You always wuz a calculatin' cuss. 

HoR. Well, if a fellow doesn't take care of himself, no one 
else will. 

Jos. Unless he marries a widow with money, eh, Horatio? 

{Digs hiin in ribs and theft off l.) 

HoR. {looking after him). That was meant for sarcasm. 
Well, it doesn't affect me. He'd had me married to that old 
scarecrow, Alvina Berry, if I hadn't been extra careful. Luckily 
I saw through the scheme. From what I've been able to learn, 
she's poorer than a church mouse. {Starts for door at back. 
Enter Al., door at back. HoR. starts back.) Alvina ! 

Al. {indignant). Mrs. Berry, if you please ! 

HoR. {also on dignity). Very well, Mrs. Berry, as you 
wish. Good-day, madam ! {Starts for door at back.) 

Al. Aren't you going to congratulate me? 

HoR. Eh ? On what ? 

Al. Haven't you heard? {Takes letter from hand-bag 
and holds out to him.) Read ! 

HoR. {coining down, takifig letter y quickly reading). What's 



COUNTRY FOLKS 49 

this? ** Enclosed find drafts amounting to four hundred thou- 
sand dollars. ' ' {Looks vp. ) Then your mining property ? 

Al. {relieving him of letter). Has turned out just as was 
promised. I deposited the proceeds to-day. 

HOR. {clasping hand to head ; aside). Great guns ! And 
to think I engaged myself to another ! {Fulls himself together.) 
No matter, no matter! {To Al.) Congratulations, my dear 
Alvina. Congratulations ! I always knew you would some 
day realize your dreams ! 

Al. And that's why you ain't spoken or called on me for 
the past four weeks. 

HoR. {apologetically). My dear Alvina. I had a motive. 
How could I, a poor, lonely, penniless man, have the pre- 
sumption to address or even look at the wealthy Alvina Berry ! 
But now — now that you have shown me that despite your good 
fortune, we are still to be the friends of old, why, I 

Al. {puzzled). I don't really understand what you arc 
getting at. 

HoR. {passionately). My dear Alvina, I have waited to 
speak to you of this matter for over twenty-five years. {On 
knees follows her about. With arms outstretched.) My dear, 
1 love you and want you to be my wife ! 

Al. {firmly). Rise ! You are wasting your time and en- 
ergy. I've found you out before this. You are a conceited, 
selfish, good-for-nothing gold seeker. 

HoR. {risifig in confusion). Outside of which, I'm all 
right, 1 hope. 

Al. I never want you to address me again. Go to your 
fiancee, the widow Lucy Beech. 

HoR. Lucy Beech ? Bah, I never loved any one but you, 
Alvina. 

Al. Be careful — be careful ! Or you may lose her too ! 

HoR. Then all is over between us? 

Al. You heard what I said. 

HoR. {angrily). Very well, madam ! You will live to re- 
gret this step. {Opens door at back. Dramatically.) I'll 
throw myself from the stone bridge yonder and end it all. 
{Then adds.) No, I'll be drowned if I do. On second 
thought, I'll marry the widow Beech ! {Off.) 

Al. {laughing heartily). Wal, I was right erbout that old 
hypocrite, anyway. 

Enter Jos. , from door l. 



50 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Jos. Oh, is thet you, Alvina? I didn't know you were 
here. 

Al. I was let in by the Jedge — who's jes' gone. 

Jos. Reckon you can't guess what fetched him here. 

Al. Wal, it's hard tu tell. He's up tu so much devilment 
o' late. 

Jos. He'sOzias Schuyler's lawyer now. 

Al. Do tell ! 

Jos. And has brought a suit agin us on the notes. 

Al. Wal, wal, and arter all you did fer the critter ! Thet's 
gratitude fer you ! 

Jos. It's broken Martha all up. 

Al. I'll bet it has. ( Crosses to L.) Wal, I'll cheer her 
up a bit. 

Jos. She'll be right glad tu see yer. 

Al. {at door l.). Don't mind the Jedge and Ozias. Birds 
of a feather — flock tugelher, and you'll be glad some day you're 
rid o' the two of them fer good and all. {Off l.) 

Jos. Perhaps she's right— perhaps she's right. 

{Exits after her. Ktwck ofi door at back.) 
Enter r. i, Lor., dressed ift black. 

Lor. I thought I heard a knock. {Knock repeated.) 
There it is again. {Opens door. Nat. stands in doorway. 
His face is pale and he is unshaven and wears dark suit well 
covered with dust and soft hat. Lor., staggered.) Nat ! 
Nat! 

Nat. (riveakly). Yes, Lorna — I've come home. 

{Makes a step forward^ staggers a?id is about to fall.) 

Lor. {catching him in her arms). You're faint ! {Assists 
him to sofa.) I'll call the folks. {Starts toward door \..) 

Nat. Wait ! I wouldn't just yet. It might be better for 
them not to see me in this weakened condition. 

Lor. {crossifig to him). You're right; I hadn't thought of 
that. {TJien after pause.) Nat, we thought you dead. 

Nat. I had the narrowest of escapes, dear. I was pretty 
badly wounded in one of our early skirmishes and left for dead. 
Lorna, you don't know what I endured. I lay on the battle- 
field all day, the liot sun beating down upon me and the hours 
■ — the minutes passing oh ! so slowly ! Just before nightfall I 



COUNTRY FOLKS 5 1 

thought it all ended, I closed my eyes in what I believed to 
be my last earthly sleep; but my time hadn't come, it seems. 
I won't weary you with the many details now. You can pic- 
ture for yourself the chance succor by the enemy ; the long, 
hopeless days in the prison hospital ; the final recovery and 
ultimate return home. 

Lor. I can imagine it all. But why, oh, why didn't you 
write ? 

Nat. {looking up slowly ; repeating). Why didn't I write ? 
You don't mean ? 

Lor. We haven't had so much as a line from you since 
the day you went away. 

Nat. {rising slowly; then firmly). Lorna, there's some- 
thing wrong here ! For I wrote a dozen letters before I was 
injured 

Lor. You wrote a dozen letters ? 

Nat. And only the day before my departure mailed the 
last — to say I'd soon be home. That letter should have reached 
here about the same time I arrived. 

Lor. I can't understand it. We heard never a word. 

Nat. {suddenly). Lorna, I have it ! Pruddy Schuyler ! 
It's her work ! She threatened we should never 

Lor. {quickly). I see it all now. She's been the cause of 
all our sorrow ! 

Nat. But we haven't time to think of her now. {Afix- 
iously.) Tell me, how are the folks ? 

Lor. As well as could be expected under the circumstances. 
Your home-coming will bring renewed life to us all. 

Nat. And Polly ? Peter ? Old Jed ? The dogs ? Every 
one and everything ? 

Lor. Just as you left them. 

Nat. I'm so glad of that. But Lorna, I must get a look at 
dad— mother. 

Lor. {over to r. i). Go into the sitting-room, Nat. I'll 
break it to them gently. 

Nat. {moving k.). That's it ! {Then at door .) Oh, but 
Lorna, you haven't told me a thing about yourself. 

Lor. {lightly). Oh, we're going to have plenty of time to 
talk about ourselves. 

Nat. You're right. {Off "R. i.) 

Lor. {looking after him). Oh, I'm so glad he's come 
back. But how — how to break it to the others without fright- 
ening them half to death ! {Starts toward L.) 



52 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Enter Jos., door l., and they almost collide, 

Jos. Heigho, Lorna ! Where be you headin' far ? 

Lor. {taken by surprise). Why you — that is I — he 

Jos. (^puzzled). Hello — what's on your mind, gal ? You 
seem all-fired took by surprise. 

Lor. (nervously). It's nothing — I mean something — well, 
the fact is, it's — it's 

Jos. You're tryin' tu keep somethin' from me, gal. Come, 
no secrets. Out with it. 

Lor. Well, if you must know, he's in there. (Points r. i.) 

Jos. (crossing to R. i, unconcernedly). Who's in there? 
Ozias ! The Jedge ! ( Then looks off and espys Nat. Gives 
a start.) Great Caesar's ghost ! It's Nat ! Nat, my boy ! 

(Rushes off.) 

Nat. (heard off). Dad! Dad! 

Jos. (heard off ; warmly). My boy, my boy ! 

Lor. I knew I'd make a mess of it I 

Enter Mar., hurriedly, from L. 

Mar. (excitedly). What's happened? Josiah — I hear his 
voice! Is he hurt? (Crosses to v,.) Where is he? Where 
is he? (Then glances off . Gives a cry.) Nat! Nat! Re- 
turned alive ! (Rushes off.) 

Nat. (heard off -r. i). Mother, mother! 

Mar. (heard off ; brokenly). My boy — my boy 1 

Enter Al., breathlessly, l. 

Al. Good gracious, Lorna ! Is the house afire? Where 
are the folks? Where's Martha ? (Lor. points to r. i. Al. 
quickly over to R. i.) She's fainted, I s'pose ! {Glances off, 
then gives a cry.) Good Lor' ! (Faints in Lor.'s arms.) 

LoR. (struggling with Al.). Help ! Help ! Help ! 

Enter Pol., hurriedly, l. 

Pol. (excitedly). What is it, Lorna? (Theft over to her 
and glancing off r. i, gives a cry.) It's Nat ! Nat! Hurrah I 
Hurrah ! (Rushes off r. i.) 

Lor. I've never seen so much excitement. 

Al. (recovering). Pinch me, Lorna — pinch me ! I don't 
believe that I'm awake. 



COUNTRY FOLKS 53 

Lor. Oh, you're awake, all right. 
Al. {looking off v^. i). And is that really Nat Dean ? 
Lor. It's Nat— and surrounded by the rest of the folks. 
Al. {sighing). Wal, I swarn, ef it don't beat everything. 
(Exits R. I.) Nat, Nat, I'm so glad tu see yer I 

{Knock on door at back.) 

Lor. Who can that be ? {Opens door at back.) 

Enter Jake, excitedly y door at back. 

Jake. Mrs. Berry, I must see her right away quick, blease. 

Lor. But I'm not certain she will see you. 

Jake. Hurry, hurry— it is of the greatest importance. I 
ain't got a minute to lose. 

Lor. Very well, I'll tell her. {Off v.. i.) 

Jake. By golly, it's goot I found oudt about dot money in 
time. I might hev lost dis opportunities. {Looks at himself 
in mirror.) Is my tie on straight? {Arranges tie.) Und 
my hair ? {Brushes hair with hands, then surveys himself.) 
I never looked more handsomer in my life. 

Enter Al., door r. i. 

Al. Did you want to see me, sir ? 

Jake. Sir? She calls me a sir. {To Al.) My dear 

Alvina. 

Al. Pray, don't call me Alvina. 

Jake {surprised). Ain't dot your name? Why, I used to 
call you sweeter names den dot once. 

Al. {firmly). But no more — no more ! 

Jake {aside). She means it, too. {To Al.) But, my dear, 
you don't understood me. I heared der news about 

Al. Nat's return ? 

Jake. Ach, vat I care about anything but you ? 

Al. I see. You heard about my deposit in the bank 
to-day. 

Jake. Hearing is noddings compared mit what I dink of 
you. 

Al. You know I'm worth a half million dollars now. 

Jake. Ches, und I would lofe you ef you were wurth only 
twice as much. Come, my dear, give me an answer. 

Al. I thought you told me a few weeks ago you were 
engaged to the Widow O'Shaughnessy ? 



54 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Jake. Ach, vat nonsense. When I said dot, I hadn't 
thought it over how much better I like you. 

Al. And you've finally decided you'd rather marry me? 

Jake {with smile). Do you blame me? {Passionately.) 
When I look at your beautiful bank-books — I should say — 
beautiful face, by golly I shust lose my whole head. {On 
bended knee.) Alvina, will you acception me? 

Al. I'm sorry, but I'm engaged to Jed Newkirk. 

Jake {rising slowly). You're engaged to Jed Newkirk? 

Al. We're to be married next Monday. 

Jake. Dot has-been ! Dot never-vas been ! 

Al. {haughtily). You'll gain nothing by calling him hard 
names. 

Jake. I gain der satisfaction, anyway. By golly, I could 
do someding worser even besides. {Strikes pose.) You didn't 
look at me very close, did you ? If you pass me up, you lose 
a most excellent husband, (Al. looks at hiin intently, then 
breaks into a hearty laugh. Jake, puzzled at her manner ; 
aside.) She is giving me the ha ha ! 

Al. {at door r. i). Really, you don't know how funny 
you look. {Off R. I.) 

Jake. No— und you don't know how funny I feel. 
{Crushed.) It's all off. I figured it oudt all wrong. {Sadly.) 
Veil, I s'pose dere's nodding else to do but shoot my brains 
oudt. {Opens door at back.) Yes, dere is. I'll marry der 
Widow O'Shaughnessy shust fer spite ! {Off quickly.) 

Lor. {oti from r. i). How happy they all are ! What a 
change Nat's return has made ! {Starts.) I thought I heard 
some one at the window. {Cautiously up to window; looks 

off.) Yes— no {Then starts.) Pruddy Schuyler ! What 

can she be doing here ? {Looks from wijidow.) At the key- 
hole peering in. There's some my.stery here. ( Glances about.) 
I'll see what's in the wind ! 

{Gets in wardrobe and closes door.) 

Pru. {noiselessly pushing door open at back, glancing 
around, then cautiously down C, looking right and left). Nat 
alive, after all ! {Looks at crumpled letter in hand ; reads.) 
"Will arrive about as soon as tliis letter reaches you." {Bit- 
terly.) He hasn't forgotten Lorna, despite my planning and 
scheming. {Brings forth bundle of letters.) I thought if he 
received no answers to his letters, he'd soon forget her — give 
her up. But no, he loves her more than ever. {Looks at let- 



COUNTRY FOLKS 55 

ters.) And what will become of me when he learns the truth ? 
(^Emphatically .~) That's it! He must never know! (Over 
to desk?) I'll put them here. {Raises top of desk ; deposits 
packet of letters J then fioiselessly lowers top again.) There, so 
much for that. Now she won't be able to deny having received 
them. My word's as good as hers, and the fact of the letters 
being in her possession will be in my favor. (Lor. has noise- 
lessly stepped from wardrobe and is now watching Pru.) If 
only I can get away without any one seeing me. {Turns to go 
and comes face to face with Lor. Starts.') Lorna Lane 1 

Lor. And I know all ! 

Pru. (sinking to knees ; pleadingly). Forgive me, Lorna I 
Forgive me ! I didn't mean to do it. 

Lor. Didn't mean to? Can you say that, after nearly 
breaking the hearts of a loving father and mother ! Can you 
say that, after 

Pru. (with boived head). I'll do all in my power to repair 
the wrong, Lorna, only don't — please don't let Nat know. 

Lor. a word from me would bring him to this room ! 

Pru. He's home already ! Oh, we mustn't meet now ! 
We must never meet again ! 

Lor. You've got to explain about those letters ! Some one 
will have to do that. 

Pru. (tip). Well, I can't — I can't ! Let me pass, Lorna — 
let me pass ! 

Lor. (^firmly). Not until you've 

Pru. Let me pass, I say ! {Makes a 7?iave as if to exit.) 

Lor. {restraining her). Help! Help! Help! 

All {on from r. i). What has happened ? 

Lor. {to others). The mystery of Nat's undelivered letters 
explained ! {To Nat.) Look on that desk, Nat ! 

{Points to desk.) 

Nat. {quickly throwing top open, finding packet of letters). 
My letters ! {Glances at them.) Every one ! Why, how did 
they get here? 

Pru. {defiantly). I placed them there ! 

All. You? 

Nat. {quietly). Pruddy, what am I to think of you? 

Pru. Oh, I suppose it doesn't matter now what you think. 
{Looks at Nat. anxiously. Then after effective pause. To 
Lor.) I must go ! So please let me pass ! 

{Knock on door at back.) 



56 COUNTRY FOLKS 

Al. {having glanced from zvindovi). It's Ozias Schuyler ! 
PRU. (startifig). My father ! (Then wildly glances aboutS) 
He mustn't see me here ! He mustn't know ! 

(^Quickly hides in wardrobe.") 

Nat. Perhaps he'd better not see me just yet, either. 

Lor. a good idea. Quick, into the other room. (Nat. 
off 1^. I. Lor. opens door at back.) Come in. 

Ozias {entering attgrily door at back, folloTved by HOR.). I 
suppose you're ail surprised to see me at this time, but I've 
come with a last proposition. 

Jos. Wal, out with it. Vv^e'll at least hear what you've got 
to say. 

Ozias {surprised). Kinder independent, ain't yer, fer one 
askin' favors ? Wal — {looking arou7id) I know that your son 
Nat's alive. 

Jos. Oh, you do, do you ? 

Ozias. And I've come to renew my offer. If you'll consent 
to Nat's marryin' Pruddy, I'll tear up these notes. 

{Waves notes ifi Jos.' s face.) 

Jos. Furst tell me where you got your news erbout Nat. 
You ain't seen him? 

Ozias (troubled). Wal, no — I hain't. 

Jos. Then how did you come tu know ? 

Ozias. Well, dang it, ef you must know — from my gal 
Pruddy ! He wrote her a letter. 

Nat. {on from r. i). That's an untruth ! I never wrote her 
a letter in all my life. 

Ozias {starting on beholding Nat.). Nat Dean ! {Then 
recovers.) I've jes' made your father a proposition whereby I 
will tear up these notes. 

Al. {stepping forivard). Oh, you needn't be so skeered. 
They'll be torn up in the morning. 

Ozias. Torn up ? By whom, pray ? 

Al. By me — 'cause /';;/ going tu pay them. (Ozias sur- 
prised.) And what's more, I'm a-going tu hev you removed 
as postmaster unless you beg Josiah's pardon fer all the insults 
and things you've heaped upon his head. 

Ozias {with sneer). Do you think I'm a fool? 

Al. Wal, I know you're the father o' one ! 

Ozias {turning upon her). Pruddy ! 



COUNTRY FOLKS 57 

Al. She's been openin' other people's letters and stealin' 

the mail. .,,-,. t.h 

OzikS (wildly). Thatam'tso! A vile slander ! 1 11 sue 
you and get some o' that money you received in the mail 

to-day. ^ . , . ^u 

Al. (quickly). How dii^you know I received money in the 

mail to-day? 

OziAS {angrily). Because I opened 

{Then clasps hand to mouth.) 
Al. (quickly finishing sentence). My letter ! Go on, why 
didn't you finish it? I've been aware o' your mean tricks for 

some time ! . , ^r >4. j 

OziAS. I won't stand for this bullyraggin . You can t de- 
fame people's characters thet way without havin' tu suffer fer 
it ( Wildly.) Come on, Jedge— I want a warrant issued for 
mahcious slander. (To Al.) I don't care erbout myself, but 
what you said about my gal Pruddy don't go ! {Starts 
toward door at hack.) It's a lie ! (Then to HOR.) Come 
on, Jedge — we'll make 'em sweat ! 

HoR. (^going). You bet we will ! 

Pru. {put from wardrobe; loudly). Don't go that way, 
dad— (M^« with bowed head) because it's the truth ! 

OziAS {surprised). Pruddy! {Then realizes the truth.) 

You mean ? „ ^ ^t , i . 

Pru. {with loivered head). I held back all of Nat s letters. 

OziAS {crushed, standing with bowed head for an instant, 
then slowly looking up; brokenly). Josiah, I'm sorry for what 
I said— (Mtf« turning to hi., and others) I apologize to all o 
you. I didn't know— I didn't know. 

Jos. Thefs all right, Ozias. We all make mistakes some- 
times, and sence you feel thet way erbout it, why I ain't got 
no hard feelings. ..z. . 

HoR. {completely cha?tgifig manner toward Jos. ; with out- 
stretched hand). And likewise, Josiah, you and I aren't going 
to be bad friends. 

Jos. {looking him in the eye ; calmly). No— from now on— 
simply strangers ! 

HoR. {crushed). Oh, Lor' ! , r. • a 

Ozias {placing arms about Pru.'s shoulders; she ts soo- 
bing). There, there, my gal— it'll all come out right. 

Jos. {touched; feelingly patting Pru. on shoulder). U 
course it will, Pruddy— o' course it will. 



58 COUNTRY FOLKS 

VET-E.R {heard off). Polly! Polly! It's over ! Over! 

{Breathlessly enters door at back with clothing tor7i, hair 
disheveled, and tie eye blackened.) 

Pol. Gracious, Peter, did you win the fifty? 
Peter. I missed by a minute. 

Jos. [looking him over). You look ez if you'd jes' missed a 
cyclone ! 

{Gives a hearty laughy in which all save Ozias ««^ Pru. 
join.) 



CURTAIN 



A NEW PLAY. — FOR READING ONLY^ 



THE AWAKENING. 

c4 Comedy in Four cAds* 
By C. HADDON CHAMBERS. 

Kve male, six female characters. Scenes, two interiors and an exterior ; 
costumes, modern. A play of serious emotional interest, presenting an eiTec- 
tive combination of character, and written with this author's usual vigor and 
skill. Its argument is relieved with abundant humor, and its success in the 
theatre on both sides of the Atlantic has been pronounced. " The Awakening " 
was the first play in the English language produced under the reign of King 
Edward VIC, and the first new play of the " Twentieth Century." The acting 
rights are the property of Charles Frohman, Empire Theatre, New York, to 
whom all applications should be made. Amateur performance forbidden. 

PRICE 50 CENTS. 



THE LAST tS^ PEAK SISTERS 

Or, THE GREAT MORAL DIME SHOW. 

An Entertainment in One Scene* 

By MARY B. HORNE. 

A re-announcement of a neglected piece by this popular author. Nine 
male, seven female characters. Costumes, simple ; scenery an ordinary inte- 
rior, or may be dispensed with altogether. Plays from half an hour upward, 
according to the number of specialties introduced. This amusing piece is a 
burlesque of the " dime museum," but is entirely devoid of vulgarity, and per- 
fectly adapted to church or home performance. The characters are a wonder- 
ful collection of "freaks" of nature (somewhat assisted by art), who sing, 
dance, or recite, according to their special abilities, in illustration of the ex- 
planatory lecture. Uproariously funny, introducing the folloiying " unique 
collection." 

CHARACTERS. 

Sister Keziah. — The last of the " Peak Sisters." 

Bro. Jonathan. — Her assistant. No relation to " Uncle Sam." 

THE UNIQUE COLLECTION. 

Daniel McGinty.— Fresh from the Salfest Brine. 

Lucia Zarate. — The Greatest and Tiniest Curiosity on Earth. 

Kioto. — The Famous Japanese Dwarf. The smallest live man on record. 

LA0RA Lee. — Not one of the Lorelei, but a Siren of the Deep. 

Cassius \YB.iTE.— T}ie' Petrijied Boy. Turned to stone by a few seconds of 

solid fright. 
KAiiLULU. — ^ living illustration of Stanley^ s Remarkable discoveries in Central 

Africa, tcho sometimes illustrates with cuts. 
SiGNOR GiULio Galassi. — The jolly Glass-eater. 
Allegro Penseroso. — The Double-headed Charmer, with a mind for any fate. 



Ida. 



— The Grecian Maidens. Ttvo Posers : 



lONE. 

Raphael Tintoret.— TTie Great Blind Painter. Impressionist. 
Ah Chin. ) — The Celebrated Chinese Twins ! Closely allied to the Siamese 
WuN Lung. | ditto. 

Ka-foozle-vm.— The Daughter of the Bor-ba. Just arrived from Turkey . Speaks 
no English. 

PRICE J5 CENTS. 



NEW PLAYS 

FOR 

GIRLS^ SCHOOLS AND 
CO LLEGE S. 

The following titles are offered in answer to a demand from Girls' Schools 
for standard and classical plays for amateur performance, both public and 
private. They call for the simplest accessories in the Avay of scenery, and may 
generally be given quite as well without any. Greek costumes are called for 
in six of them, and the other three are equally easy. The nine titles offered 
range in length from tifteen minutes to a full evening, and from the simplest 
to the most elaborate. In the latter cases, full instructions as to dresses, 
scenery and acting accompany the text. All are arranged specially with a 
view to having girls play the inale parts, the text, dresses and business having 
this always in mind. The literary value of the originals is eminent, and it is 
hoped that these adaptations are worthy of their source. 

THE ALKESTIS, of Euripides. 

Arranged by Elsie Fogerty. Eight male, three female characters and 
chorus. One scene ; Greek dresses. Plays nearly two hours. Price, 35 cents. 

THE ANTIGOr^, of Sophocles* 

Five male, three female characters. Greek costumes ; no scenery required. 
Plays rather more than an hour. Price, 15 cents. 

AS YOU LIKE IT, by Shakespeare* 

Arranged by Elsie Fogektv. Thirteen male, four female characters, 
and supernumeraries. Costumes and scenery simplified from those of the play. 
Complete in all details. Plays a full evening. Price, 35 cents. 

CERES* 

By M. Nataline Cbumpton. Two male, twelve female characters. Cos- 
tumes, Greek ; scenery, unimportant. Plays about an hour. Price, 15 cents. 

THE CONVENTION OF THE MUSES* 

By Ella Skus'neb Bates. Nine female characters. Greek dresses ; no 
scenery required. Plays not over fifteen minutes. Price, 15 cents. 

KING RENE'S DAUGHTER* 

By Theodore Martin, from the Danish of Hexdrik Hertp. Six male, 
two female characters. Scenery, unimportant ; costumes, easy. Plays about 
an hour. Price, 15 cents. 

PANDORA* 

By M. Nat ALINE Crumpton. Four male, three female characters. C'-eei 
dresses ; scenery not essential. Plays less than an hour. Price, 15 cents. 

THE PRINCESS, by Tennyson* 

Recast as a drama. Eight male, four female characters. Scenery, not 
necessary ; costumes, fanciful. Plays a full evening. Price, 35 cents. 

THESEUS* 

By M. Nataltne Crtjmpton. Seven male, seven female characters, and 
supernumeraries. Costumes, Greek ; scenery, unimportant. Price, 15 cents. 



New Plays 



ONE OF THE EIGHT 

A College Comedy in Four Acts 

By Norman Lee Swartout 

Ten males, four females. Costumes modern ; scenery, two easy in 
teriors. Plays a full evening. A first-class piece for college production by 
the author of " Half-Back Sandy," the story turning upon the event of the 
annual boat-race. All parts good ; strongly recommended. Can be 
played only by payment of a royalty of jgio.oo to the author. 
Price, 2^ cents 

CHARACTERS 

Hew^y Brooks. «' Mollie " Runskool, a freshman, 

Mr. Brooks, his father. Bill Carter. 

Lord Chillingworth. Professor Dixon. 

Peter, his valet, Mrs. Brooks, Henrfs mother, 

Guy Marks, I. D, Helen Baldwin. 

Caleb Weston. Bab. 

Ned Andrews. Amy, the Professor's daughter, 

SYNOPSIS OF SCENES 

Act I, — Parlor in Henry's home at Redville, on New Year** 
flight. 

Act II. — Curiosity room in Delta Sigma Fraternity House. A 
morning in June. 

Act III. — Same as Act II. Afternoon. 

Act IV. — Same as Act II. Evening. 



THE POETS* CLUB 

By M, N, Beebe 

Eleven male characters. One act. Scenery unimportant ; costusa^'is 
modern. Plays thirty-five minutes. A capital farce for boys, easy and 
effective. Characters include an Irishman, a Swede, a pugilist, a tramp, 
a negro, a farmer and a " willy-boy." Strongly recommended. 
Pricct IS cents 



A NEW SOCIETY DRAMA. 



THE PENALTY OF PRIDE 

(A Society Drama in Four (Ads* 
By ARTHUR LEWIS TUBES. 

Seven male, four female characters. Scene, an elegant interior, the same 
for all four acts; costumes modern and elegant. An admirable piece, of stronc 
emotional and dramatic interest, suited lor professional production, or for an 
experienced amateur club. Its story oilers a clever combination of human 
passion with the more artificial but equally absorbing stress of social and 
financial life, essentially n)odern in spirit ;.n<i etfect. The characters are well 
diversified, Eastwick, Kirlce. Tom, Mrs. Eostwick and Sallie, being admirable 
parts, and Elizabeth Ann Cripps, a " tough girl," and Tim, her best fellow, 
offering a decided novelty in comedy characters, amusingly developed and con- 
trasted. Plays two and one-half hours. 

PRICE .25 CENTS. 



CHARACTERS: 

Frank East-wick, a trusted bank clerk Lead. 

Vivian Kirke, a society poet Heavy. 

Robert Chalmers, a bank president — Mrs, Eastwick' s uncle . , . Old Man. 

Tom Gresham, devoted to Sallie Juvenile. 

Tim Traters, not so bad after all Character Comedy. 

Barker, a detective Responsible Utility. 

Officer Utility. 

Emily Eastwick, Frank's wife Lead. 

Sallie Clegg, her sister Juvenile. 

Mrs. Dalsimee, whose hobby is "reform" .... Character Old Woman. 
Elizabeth Ann Cripps, " saved from the slums "... Character Comedy. 

SYNOPSIS: 

Act I. — Home of Frank Eastwick, New York City ; an afternoon in 
December. Suspicion. 

Act n. — The same night, 12:30 o'clock. The desertion. 

Act III. — One week later. The ruined home. 

Act IV. — At Mr. Chalmers's residence. Four months have elapsed. The 
return. 



NO ADMITTANCE. 

A Farce in One Act* 

FOR FEMALE CHARACTERS ONLY. 

By EVELYN GRAY \miTING« 

Seven female characters. Scene an easy interior; costumes modern and 
pretty. A humorous picture of amateur house-keeping in a " flat " — a case of 
sweets to the suite, in fact. A " bachelor girl" with a taste for modelling is 
presented, with a few of her fiiends, as the victim of Maria Kelley, " a general 
houseworker," with amusing results. Brightly written. Plays half an hour. 

PRICE J5 CENTS. 



NEY/ PLAYS. 



UNCLE SILAS. 

c^ Ttay in Three c/lds. 
By BERNARD FRANCIS MOORE. 

Seven male, three female characters. Costumes, modern ; scenery, an 
exterior and two easy interiors. A very easy and dramatic piece in Mr. Moore's 
well-known and popular style, particularly suited and intended for younger 
amateurs who desire a simple but effective play not beyond their strength. 
The story is melodramatic in character and full of interest, turning upon a, 
bank burglary, Irish, Negro and character-comedy parts ; all the characters 
good and effective. Plays an hour and three quartera 

PRICE J5 CENTS. 



CHARACTERS, 

Silas Bbadford President of the village bank 

Jim Bender Sheriff of the county 

Lemuel Harrison A man of the world 

Andrew Cashman A yoking farmer 

Martin Murphy . . . . A young Irish American with an eye to the future 

Sam Potter A gentleman of color 

Jack Walker Who sees more than he should 

Lottie Bradford The banker's daughter 

Sadie Bradford The banker's niece 

Gertrude Malvern The banker's housekeeper 



SYNOPSIS, 



Act I. — Bradford's home. The murder in the front yard. 

Act II. — Bradford's home. The promise in the kitchen. 

Act. III. — Bradford's home. The interrupted wedding in the parlor. 



TOO MUCH SMITH. 

A Musical Comedy in One Ad* 
By ARTHUR PENN. 

Five male, two female characters. Scenery, simple ; costumes, eccentric. 
A simple bit of fooling intended to afford an opportunity to amateurs uf g; »;i- 
fjring the prevailing taste for light musical plays. The words of a few soii^? in 
comnaon metres are given, for which fitting music can easily be found, either 
in the lighter operas or among the airs of the day ; they may be omitted, and 
other songs inserted at any point. The play is offered merely as a vehicle for the 
exhibition of any special accomplishments, singing, dancing, or what not, in 
which the amateurs who attempt it may be proficient. 

PRICE 15 CENTS. 



NEW PLAYS. 



OUT WEST. 

A Comedy Drama, in Four Ads, 
By JUSTIN ADAMS. 

Nine male, five female characters. Costumes, modern and rough ; scenery 
varied, but not difficult, Act III., providing a " sensation," very etfective and 
very easy to do. This is a play of Western iniwing life, the scenes being laid in 
Colorado and New York City. It is a strong and stirring melodrama, full of 
life and dramatic action, giving its ten characters plenty to do. Has been pro- 
duced professionally by the Maude Hillman Co., and is in perfect acting shape, 
moving briskly, Avithout a dull moment. Ray, the heroine, is a dashing soubrette, 
an X-ray for dramatic purposes, though no '' back-number." Strong lead, heavy 
and character parts, Irish and Yankee. Just the thing for a strong company. 
Plays a full evening. 

PRICE 25 CENTS. 

CHARACTERS. 

Ekqinald Lewis. {Lead) A young inventor 

Wallace IVLerrick. {Heavy) His evil genius 

JETHKO Putnam. {Low Comedy) From the rural districts 

Majob Rounds. {Character) Of Coxey's army 

John Ray. {Old man) A false friend 

Jerry. {Comedy) A purely American product 

Mike Moriarty. {Comedy) Finished on American soil 

Joe Haskell. {Utility) A poor tool 

Detective. {Utility) 

Lucille Ray. {Juvenile Lead) A typical American girl 

Mrs. Steck. {Old woman) With mx>re sentiment than sense 

Claibe Montague. {Emotional) An unfortunate 

Samantha Putnam. {Character) Jethro's better half 

Cissy. {Souhrette) A typical type-toriter girl 

SYNOPSIS. 

Act I. — Cripple Creek, Colorado. The Liberty Bell mine. Back from the 
grave. A vile plot. Dead by Proxy. 

Act II. — John Ray's office in Wall Street. A false partner. A little flyer 
in stocks. Restitution. The Tables Turned. 

Act III. — At the New Bridge. The young inventor. The hanging stone. 
Sandbagged. In peril of his life. Rescued. The Dynamite Blast. 

Act IV. — Jethro's home. A vile bargain. The accusation. The Major's 
confession. Restored to Life. 



HIS LUCKY DAY 

A Sketch in One cAd. 
By SUSAN THAYER BOWKER. 

Two male, one female characters. Scene, an interior, which may be made 
Tery pretty ; costumes, modern and golfing. A very pretty and " snappy " little 
play for parlor or stage, turning upon the royal game, and employing it in a 
very original and striking situation. French dialect comedy character, and 
a capital part for a bright girl. A bright little sketch, claVerlj Witten, and full 
«f Va» aud " go." Plays thirty minutes. • "^ ' 

PRICE J5 CENTS.. v,.::^ 



a. W, linero'0 Haps 



THE MAGISTRATE ^^^^^ ^^ Three Acts. Twelve males, four 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, all 
interior. Plays two hours and a half. 

THE NOTORIOUS MRS. EBBSMITB ^"^r* ,'" J""/ ^f 

Ei,^'' males, five females. 
Costumes, modern ; scenery, all Interiors PI; ys a full evening. 

THE PROFLIGATE ^l^y^^FourActs, deven males, eve females. 
Scenery, three interiors, rather elaborate ; 
costumes, modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE SCHOOLMISTRESS r^rce in Three Acts Nine males, seven 
females. Costumes, modern ; scenery, 
three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

THE SECOND MRS. TANQUERAY ^'7 '"/o" ^•='' ='«" 

^ males, five females. Cos- 

tumes, modern ; scenery, three interiors. Plays a full evening. 

SWEET LAVENDER ^°™®^y *^ Three Acts. Seven males, four 
females. Scene, a single interior; costumes, 
modern. Plays a full evening. 

THE TIMES ^''"^^'^y ^^ -^^"^ ■^^^^' ^^^ males, seven females. 
Scene, a single interior ; costumes, modern. Plays a 
full evening. 

THE WEAKER SEX ^°°^®**y ^ Three Acts. Eight males, eight 
females. Costumes, modem ; scenery, two 
interiors. Plays a full evening. 

A WIFE WITHOUT A SMILE ""T^l "^T^'T ^n\ ^'" 

males, four females. Costumes, 
uodem ; scene, a single interior. Plays a full eyeningo 



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AS YOn T VmV it comedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four 
A J IVU MAL( 11 females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, va- 
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CAMII I F I^'^^i^^ ^^ Fi'^'® Acts. Nine males, five females. Cos- 
ViiiUlL(L<L( tumes, modern ; scenery, varied. Plays a full evening. 

INdOMAR ^^*y ^^ ^^^® Acts. Thirteen males, three females. 
inuviTi/ii\ Scenery varied ; costumes, Greek. Plays a full evening. 

MARY STUART Tragedy in Five Acts. Thirteen males, four fe- 
ITiiilVI t^lUAni males, and supernumeraries. Costumes, of the 
period ; scenery, varied and elaborate. Plays a full evening. 

THE MERCHANT OF VENICE S,X'£!S4?S; gSJ^il 

picturesque ; scenery varied. Plays a full evening. 

ff ICHFT IFII ^^^y ^° -^^^^ Acts. Fifteen males, two females. Scen- 
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THF klVAT S Comedy in Five Acts. Nine males, five females. 
1 ULi ni T J\L(D Scenery varied ; costumes of the period. Plays a 
full evening. 

SHE STOOPS TO CONQUER ^^i%i^ SlILi^'LJlfZ 

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TWELFTH NIGHT; OR, WHAT YOU WILL T^.':%1V.L: 

three females. Costumes, picturesque ; scenery, varied. Plays a 
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